why do they whine the whole time

:hush: Okay seriously, why does my girls whine the whole time. They can speak full sentences and we can clearly understand what they want or need, more want than need really. But they moan and cry and whine and I have a bald spot on my head. :headbang:

Is this normal and when does it stop, please tell me it stops... :shok:

 

Mine do it, too. They are especially bad with me (as opposed to other people), and they are really bad right now because we just got back from a vacation which had them all out of sorts. I am sure it does get better. I just try to tell them to calm down and use their words, and remind them that I can't help them if I don't understand what they want. Sometimes that works.

:hug: This, too, shall pass!

 

Oh yeah, mine can get really whiny too. :headbang:

One thing that's worked for us is insisting on "please." When they ask for something in a whiny voice, they don't get it until they say please. When they get started whining over and over and over, "please" sort of short-circuits it. Even if it's a whiny "please," it gets them out of that broken record mode.

 

:rotflmbo:
Unfortunately tape wouldn't help -- as they are quite capable of whining with their mouths closed.

It's always worse when they're tired, hungry, feeling deprived of Mommy time, or anything else other than perfect contentment!

I say, "I hear some whining, but I'm not going to answer until you ask me in a nice voice." I've also tried just pretending "I can't understand that whiny voice," but that seems to make them even madder. For us, at least, it's better to just be straightforward and say I'm just not going to answer. We also insist on "please" (though sometimes I'll give in if they manage to say "please" even if it's still in sort of a whiny voice).

At almost 4, it's getting better (at least this month , but it was REALLY bad just after they turned 3.

 

My son is still a whinner but we have a rule here that he doesn't get what he is asking for unless he asks for it nicely and uses the proper words. I know it kinda sounds mean but my SIL still whinnes and talks like a baby and it drives me nuts so I don't want him thinking this is exceptable. This helps most of the time except for when he is really really tired.

 

My DD is bad about this! I just usually tell her "sorry I don't understand whine you need to talk in your normal voice". I assume it is just a phase. It does grate on your nerves after awhile!!

 

It stops when you don't acknowledge it or make them speak in a normal tone of voice to you if they have anything to say or want. We say use your words in a nice tone of voice and it works.

 

I don't know, Ainsley is still a whiner! Sometimes it's like she forgot how to talk, she will just go "eehhhhh!!!!" and it's like nails on a chalkboard. :blink:

 

Ian does this too and I just tell him I don't understand "ehhhh" and make him ask for what he needs/wants

 

Totally!!! My kids are super verbal, and they revert to exactly that kind of thing. :gah:

Or another variation: Andrew will whine and moan and work himself up into a fit saying, "Andrew want the thing! Andrew want the THING!" I ask him all kinds of questions (big? small? what color? toy? book? clothing? food? drink?) and he just sobs "Andrew want the THING!" And then after like 20 minutes of this he'll say, "Andrew want the sweater." Oh. OK. Why the **** didn't you ****ing say so the first time?!?!?!? :headbang: :wacko:

 

This is what drives me batty, and no matter how I try to remind myself that their brains just don't make these connections consistently, I still get frustrated with/at them.

Does whining have a physiological effect like infant crying? It really gets my blood pressure up faster than almost anything else.

 

YES! And I feel like running away when my dd does that. :gah:

For my dd (my whiner) it's gotten worse since she turned three, so I'm keeping things crossed that by 4 it will stop. :hush:

:hug:

 

We have talked about how talking like a big girl is compared to whining. "I can only hear big girl words", I say all the time. It is amazing how fast that turns off the whining and gets her to say it nice with a please. WHen I ignored or said I can hear only big girls words for 3-4 days, it got so much better. It is all about consistency and what you will and won't listen to. i still have to remind but is is bearable now and I was going crazy with it before. Set your expecations and be 1005 consistent.

 

Oh my goodness add my 2 to the list! ESPECIALLY Ava!!! and mine are very verbal too!! - I was out with a friend last weekend and her daughter is 2 months younger than my twins - I swear the child did not whine or cry not once! I was on pins and needles all day just waiting for one of mine to start with either the whining OR just move on to a full blown meltdown!

As I type, my 10yr old is in here whining like he is 2. So I am not sure it will ever end :drown: I am drowning in whining here :gah:

 

Oh thanks goodness I was very worried I might be the only one. I know I am not but it does feel that way...

I am also wondering when it will stop because I swear my dh picked up the whining habbit. URGH!!!!!!

 

My boy's a whiner, he's also slow with speech so that's obviously not helping. I tell him to tell me in a normal way (as easy as I can), and if he can't stop himself after several warnings he goes in time out (not that he cares, but it does "reset" him).