This Seems Impossible

I don't know how to do this. My dh goes to work at 5:30 a.m. and is gone for 13-14 hours per day. At least one baby (they are three weeks old) is crying/gassy all of the time - and then it goes on throughout the night. I had a vertical incision with my c-section and it has started bothering me more and more. It makes it hard to rock and soothe one baby, let alone two. And I don't have much time for my ds which makes the guilt seem even worse. All I can keep thinking is I wish I had my life back, which is horrible, I know. I just don't know what else to do or think. Will these feelings ever get better????

 

:hug: I felt the same way for the first few weeks. My DH was working 12+ hours a day and it took everything I had to take care of the twins, which meant that I practically ignored my older two. I can't tell you how many time I questioned our decision to have more children and then cried because I felt guilty for feeling that way. I was to embarassed to tell anyone but my DH and even then I only told him because I was afraid that I might have PPD and I wanted to make sure he kept an eye on me.

I can tell you that it gets easier. It seemed like each day got a little easier until one day life just seemed good again. One thing that I've noticed with all of my kids is that I like it much better once you get to 2 months and they start smiling and laughing. Now at the 3 1/2 month mark, there are still some tough days, but the boys are starting to be so much fun and it's gotten so much easier to spend time with my older two.

With your older son, do you have people who can do things with him? During the first month, my girls practically lived next door at my moms. I also arranged for other family, friends, and our babysitters who they adore, to come over during the day to play with them for the first two months. They still missed mommy, but at least they were getting out of the house a bit and getting to do stuff.

 

I feel your pain, I really do. I remember the first few weeks after my sons were born being a little depressed. My DH owns his own business & is gone a large portion of the day leaving me alone with them all the time. I remember thinking "why did I have kids this soon?" and all I wanted to do was go back to the way it was for a few years. Fast forward almost 8 months later... it's a whole different story. I love my babies SOOOOOOOOO much & I couldn't imagine life without them! I think the first couple months it's just complete shock of having to take care of two babies while being exhausted ALL THE TIME! It's not easy, but it WILL get easier. Just sleep as much as you can & accept all the help as well.

 

:hug: It does get easier but these early months are very hard, especially when you are the one who is mainly on call. Have you tried putting Mylicon in the bottles of the one who is gassy, my DD was very fussy and gassy a lot that is what we had to do with her. Is there any family or friends nearby who you can ask for some help on some days?

 

The first weeks are horrible, made even harder if you've had a c-section & are trying to recover. If your c-section scar is bothering you, I would check with your doctor to make sure all is well. As for the babies, do you have anyone you can ask for help? I second the call for Mylicon if you haven't tried it already. Hang in there, you are in the worst of it right now, but it will get better! :hug:

 

Big :hug: i think most of us have been there to some extent.. Honestly it gets so much better than what your in right now. Do what you need to do to keep babies clean, fed and cuddled. Sleep when they sleep and take any help if it is there, i didn't have any help so the papasan swing and carseats were my best friend. We lived in the lounge for a cple of mths too. I swaddled them up placed one in the swing, rocked the other then put her in the carseat and we just rotated it with every feed. I wanted to be anywhere but in my life at 3wks old, i had/have PND but we all survived and right now i am wishing those days back so i could do it all again with a smile on my face, i miss it in a weird kind of way. Thye are such precious momemnts that really flyby, you will get through it i promise you. If i can you can!! :hug: :hug:

 

I feel the same way right now. One of mine makes noise constantly. He starts to cry in his sleep then stops after a minute, so of course I get no sleep even when they are both sleeping. I feel bad for asking my husband to stay up with them because he has to work, but I never seem to get naps during the day. I finally got them to start breastfeeding a few days ago, but now they want to eat every 1-2 hours instead of 3-4, so I feel like I am constantly feeding them. Everyone keeps telling me it gets better, but I feel like I am not even enjoying being home with them and as soon as they start getting more fun I will have to go back to work and miss everything. Hugs and good luck to you. Our babies must have been born very close to each other.

 

Thanks for the support, everyone. It definitely helps me feel slightly more sane and less alone. i think i may call doctor on monday about incision and possible, mild ppd - my best friend gave me a reality check over the phone. hugs to everyone who has, is and will be here!!

we don't have many friends/family in the area, so we are just trying to make it through.

And on the last post, i think we are close. these two were born 8/20.

 

i can't count the number of times i had that thought in the first 3 months. it's natural to be overwhelmed and very natural to feel trapped by your circumstances. you're not imagining it, it's really really hard in the beginning. the other thought i frequently had was, "if there was only one..."

it's hard and you're doing most of it by yourself. it's okay to feel these very natural thoughts. if you find yourself dwelling on them or you feel like the thoughts are hampering your ability to provide proper care you should talk to your doctor about PPD.

it will get better, i promise. at 3 months i thought there was no way we would ever survive the first year with twins. then around 5 1/2 or 6 months everything changed and everything got so much easier, almost overnight. now my guys are turning one in three days and i'm kind of sad it's already over. you'll get there, and when you do you'll have so much fun.

 

Yep, our babies have the same birthday!

 

It helps to focus on the end of the tunnel! Looking forward to that 5 or 6 month mark and appreciate all of the encouragement.

Kristin - feel free to pm me any time... sounds like we'll be sharing a lot of the same tough first moments around the same time. I thought of you and your LOs about 4 a.m. when Ethan could not be soothed... wishing you better luck!! lol