Tell me I'm not a bad mom...

I know my neighbor probably meant nothing bad by it...but I couldn't help but just BRISTLE at her comment yesterday.

"I hear your poor babies crying all the time. I always just want to come over and hold them. Poor little things. They just cry so much."

(We always have windows open in the summer).

My gut reaction was to say "Listen Woman. When you have three kids 2 and under...and two of them happen to be 8 week old twins...one of whom refuses to sleep unless you let her cry for a few minutes...the other who falls asleep easily but wakes up after 30 minutes...and a 2 year old little boy who is having a hard time adjusting to the change...and you are the ONLY ADULT HOME all day long...you can talk to me about crying babies."

Ugh. Maybe I'm totally taking it way too personally, but it really bothered me. My only job in the world right now is to be a mother to these kids (and a wife to my hubby)...so please don't insinuate that I'm not doing a somewhat decent job at it.

I have learned with twins that keeping your baby from crying all day long is a LUXURY. It just isn't realistic when you have twins...or a 2 year old for that matter!

I just can't get her stupid comment out of my head and I'm wandering around ticked off ever since. Ugh, I hate it when that happens!

 

You are NOT a bad Mom.

Let me repeat: You. Are. Not. A. Bad. Mom.

If it were me, I'd have said "Well, we'll keep our windows shut from now on."

Nosy woman. LOL! I'd take offense to it, too ... if she's that concerned tell her to come over and help you, you have three little ones.. under TWO!! I'd be crying, too!

*hugs* You're doing a wonderful job, dear.

 

No you are most definitely not a bad mom!! You should have told her good then come over and hold one of them then! LOL
I bet she wasn't trying to insult you, maybe she was offering her help in a roundabout way. I don't know, just a thought. Don't be too hard on yourself, having twins and a toddler is HARD!

 

Awwww, you are not a bad mom & I doubt she meant it the way it came out. I'm sure it would have made me feel bad too, though. :hug: Babies just cry a lot in the first few months & when you have 2 there is twice as much crying.

 

You are not a bad Mom at all. I know I would have felt badly if one of my neighbors made a comment like that. Children cry, it's what they do. I probably would have had a hard time not saying, "Anytime you feel the urge to come over and help out, feel free to knock!" My gosh, I hate to think what my neighbors must think at the crying come from my house :shok:

 

I agree with PPs. I don't think she was trying to insult you, but I probably would have taken it that way too. I had a lot of help in the beginning and my babies still cried a lot, like almost all day. Sometimes there's nothing you can do to stop the crying. It will get better!

 

I was out chatting with our neighbors this summer and I was saying, "I'm so sorry for all the crying you must hear coming from our house!!! It's craziness in there sometimes!" (we have a 6 year old, a 4 year old and twin 7 month old girls.) One neighbor was like, "Oh...I don't even hear anything!" and my first thought was "she is surely lying to make me feel better." The other one was like, "Oh, sometimes I just feel so bad that I want to run i their and give you a hand!" and I thought, "now, she's got the right idea!!" I bet your neighbor didn't mean anything bad by it. She was probably just trying to empathize and make you feel better. The reality is lots of young children=lots of crying!! It's not a reflection on you as a mom..you only have 2 hands!


Shannon

 

You are not a bad mom, but next time u see her take the advice as above and tell her to come over and help

 

:hug: YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM. Babies cry, that is what they do. And if I am a betting woman, she's not used to much noise, let alone two babies crying at the same time. It can sounds awful. I am sure she didnt mean it that way, but I would have felt the same way you do. :hug:

 

You are not a bad mom! Babies cry and when you have two babies the same age, someone is going to be crying all the time that's just the way it goes. I think that's terrible of her to plant that seed in your head that you are doing the best you can do because you are! Shame on her, not you. Hang in there!

 

Wow. I would have been mad too. Maybe it was her way of asking if she could help? Just wait until next summer when they are doing the scream b/c I'm having my diaper changed! Ha! Make sure your windows are wide open for that phase! I had to explain to our neighbors what the noise was and we keep our windows closed! Yikes! :woman: for raising 3 under 2. I'm having a hard enough time raising my 2 under 2!

 

:hug: You're not a bad mom!

 

again, you are not a bad mom!! i used to be worried that my neighbor would call CPS on me because of the screaming coming from my house when DD was dealing with her reflux issues, it sounded like i was stabbing her with red hot pokers!!

i agree that next time you see her tell her to come over and hold a "poor little crying baby". then she can see first hand what you are doing every day and realize that some babies even cry when they are being held 24/7!!

 

I hear this even when I'm on the phone. I have 3 (2 and under) and someone is crying pretty much all day. It's hard to make all three happy at once.

 

Well this is the exact reason why I don't have my windows open in the summer. I'm sure the people walking by hear screaming and crying anyways. I hate not having my windows open, but with so many babies I don't want to even take a chance of someone thinking I'm not caring for them. Also my 3yr old screams alot, he's going to speech therapy now so I hope that will help in the communication dept. Anyways, NO YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM!!! Is she a close enough neighbor to take her up on the offer?

 

My boys are only 5 months old and I feel I need to write a book on "People say the STUPIDEST things". They just don't think about what they are saying or doing. I know it's easier said then done, but don't let it get to you.

 

so sorry you got the comment... they probably didn't mean anything by it... but still.

sometimes I've been outside taking the dog outside real quick while the babies are trying to go down for a nap, and have laughed to myself that I'm glad we don't have houses on one side of our house to hear the crying & fussing!

you're doing a great job, just keep it up!

 

OMG...you are so not a bad mom! I am in the same boat. My twins are 7 weeks AND I have a two year old who is having a VERY tough time coping. I feel horrible every day because I don't feel like I am doing enough for her, I have twin babies crying at different times ALL DAY, and all I want to do is scream my head off for the stress relief!

Perhaps I should shut my windows....LOL!

 

I was in your boat too, newborns and a 2.5 yr old dd! Babies CRY! There was always someone crying in the house those first few weeks, especially until my dd got used to the 2 babies taking up so much of mommy and daddy's time and attention!! :hug:

I agree, maybe you can casually mention you would LOVE some help, if she's free any afternoon you'd be happy to hand a baby off to her when she stops by!

 

Aww i'm so sorry this comment has upset you but just wanted to reiiterate that you are NOT a bad Mom!!! It is had enough looking after twins, hands down to anyone that can do 3!!! Your doing a fantastic job..truly your are. I'm sure the lady didn't mean it in a nasty way but honestly where has she been? Newborn babies cry, it happens? My two SCREAMED solidly between the hours of 6 and 10pm for 3months and a few times inbetween those hours too, it's what some babies do. Please forget her comment and carry on doing your best :hug: