Constantly miserable...

Hi girls,

I wanted to see if you have any input on my situation.

My babies are constantly miserable. They are 10 weeks old now and perfectly healthy. They eat every 4 hours 190 ml (6.5 oz) of formula. At 10 weeks they are 15 lb and 13 lb, so they gain weight fine. They poop everyday with loose stools. They are always promptly changed and cuddled. Nevertheless, if they are not asleep, they are screaming miserably. :unsure: I feel like a bad mother because I cannot soothe them no matter what I do. I find myself wishing that they would constantly be asleep. This thought tortures me. I tried the swing, bouncy chair, soothing music, white noise (fan, vacuum cleaner). The only time they will stop is if I hold one after another and rock them while singing. I cannot do that all day long with two babies, since I'm at home alone since 6am to 7pm. One is always left crying waiting for their turn to be rocked....I don't know what to do anymore... :sorry:

 

I know how you are feeling because my boys did this for the first few months they were home.There is nothing that you are doing wrong so don't feel bad. I know it is extreamly frustrating and if you could get some outside help to relieve you at times it would give you a nice little break. It will get better usually between 3-4months of age. Have you been to a DR? My oldest boy cried for the first four months and they kept telling me it was colic but he really had a bladder infection and after 4 days of antibiotics he was a perfect little boy. Ear infections can also make them very iritated.

My boys however were very colicy and had trouble with their feeding. It sounds like your babes are on track with all of that. Here are some suggestions I have used for colic: Warm bath in epsone salts, baby massage(work from right lower quadrant of abdomen up and under the rip cage and over to the left lower quadrant), gripe water/oval drops, carrying or holding babe so that her tummy is resting on your forearm and her head is by the crook of your elbow. My boys are also on maxeran which helps alot with the gas( but they also need it because of the vomitting). Also is you have a little warm pack if you put it on their lower back it will help with the abdominal cramps. We used to warm up a receiving blanket(folded up) in the microwave for 15-20 sec and place it on their backs or under then in their crib. It worked wonders just becareful that it is not to hot.
Are you breast feeding? If you are not and they are really gasy maybe try a different formula. My boys went through 6 formulas and finally we found enfamil gental ease which has less lactose and the milk protiens are partially broken down making it easier for the babes to digest.

Last but certainly not least you can try chiroprator. I started taking my boys their when they were 4 months old and it turns out my one boy had torticolis and a rotated pelvis. after a few adjustments he didn't scream anymore unless he was tired or hungry. I was truely amazed. I would look for a chiroprator that works on children though, just don't settle for anyone.

I hope that some of this might help. I have also heard of people using chamomile tea and giving their babes a little bit because it apparently helps soothe and with colic. I have not tried this and would consult with your dr before doing this.

Good luck, let me know how it goes. :youcandoit:

 

Luke was like that too and, to a lesser extent, so was Lila. It is miserable for them to fuss & cry all the time. The good news is, they do outgrow it. I think for us it started slowly getting better at about 12 weeks, but they weren't completely happy until they could sit up on their own. It helped somewhat when they got old enough to sit in the bumbo seats or the exersaucer. Anything so that they could be upright.

 

sounds like it could be colic to me too.. have you tried adjusting their feeding schedule at all? it sounds like they are really packing away the oz. but maybe if you went to a 3 hour feeding schedule that might help with the crying. and you might consider a formula change. have you mentioned their behavior to your pedi?

and when both babies were crying i always put one in the moby wrap so i could hold both of them and rock or walk around. that might help too.. sorry, not much good advice here, i hope it gets better for you soon.

 

Is there anyway you could get someone to help you hold babies once in awhile? Maybe a friend or a volunteer from church? My babies were very fussy for the first 3 months and having help kept me going. Wearing them in a sling helped, too. For me, I didn't really enjoy being a mom until they could sit up at almost 7 months. Now they are much happier and can play by themselves some. I would say they gradually started being happier at about 12 weeks. Are you able to get out to walk them during the day? Mine hated the stroller at first, but maybe yours like it? I hope things improve soon! I know it's really tough right now.

 

:hug: It sounds like you are doing all that you can do. I'm sure it is very hard right now but just remember this stage won't last forever.

:hug: I hope they get over this stage quickly!

 

:grouphug: My boys didn't do this, but one of my friends' daughter did. She used to strap her into her infant carrier and use it like a swing to calm her. We used to take turns when we were out and about. We all got strong arm muscles! :laughing: I used to rock one in the rocking chair and put the other in their infant carrier and rock it with my feet. At night, they would both be in their carriers and I could rock both and feed both (and sometimes hold their paci in until the fell asleep). Hang in there. It will get better!

 

I can't give any good tips or suggestions as somehow, someway neither of my twins were fussy. (they both have medical issues though, so I think God knows a Mommy and Daddy can take so much... lol) I hope they feel better soon and then their Mommy will too. Hang in there. It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job! Those two little ones have a very attentive, caring, loving Momma!

 

Thank you girls so much for all your suggestions and encouragements:grouphug: It truly helps. I know you've all been there, it was just such a rough day today I had to "talk" to someone. Only here people truly understand what I'm going through.

 

If you haven't already, you might try a formula change to Nutramigen or Alumentim formula. It may not fix it, but it really can't hurt to try it. Hang in there!

 

I'm so sorry your having a rough ride :hug: Count me in as someone who has been there. It is very hard but if it is colic there isn't really much you can do other than try different ways of soothing. I would get them checked over just to eliminate things like reflulx as my daughters ended up having that aswell. It sounds like you are doing all you possibly can, colicy babies aren't soothed easily so don't be hard on yourself!!! Have you tried swaddling, my girls were addicts!! I would swaddle and put one in the swing and the other. This tough stage WILL PASS. My girls are now the happiest little babies around and i might add that they are very independant and are quite happy to play togther independantly, you would never of thought it a few months back. Stay strong it does get a million times better!

 

If it is colic I would look into watching the Happiest Baby on the Block movie. For me it was the best 1 1/2 hours that I spent since my one son was colicy. That stuff is like magic I swear and many others on here that have had babies with colic swear by this movie too. It sounds weird to watch a movie, but at that point I was so desperate. Basically has to do with the theory that colicyness has to do with the nervous system not being mature and the baby not be able to adapt to the difference in the outside world compared to the womb. So you want to try to recreate the environment that the baby had inside the womb. For instance tightly swaddling (miracle blanket, best blanket and the baby can't break free from it but you can make your own using two recieving blankets and following the video on their website, kind of like a straight jacket), white noise like static, passifier and jiggling the babies with this technique that he teaches that mimics the enviornment in the womb once you get thme to settle down you can plop them in a bouncy seat with vibration or a swing transitiong them using his technique. My son went from screamming bloody murder from like to instantly quiet and calm using these techniques one of those things you have to see to believe it.I was able to rent mine form the libary, but you can buy it online too.

If you think it has to do with the formula they are on I would look into switching ones until you find one that works since they could have an upset tummy.

They also shoudl be getting around 16 hours of sleep and if they are not then it could just be that they are overtired and that is why they are fussing. The right amount of sleep is so important and just a few hours less can make a very cranky baby. If you think that is the case most people on here will recommend the The Healthy Sleep Habbit the Happy child book. Most of us go by this book in getting our babies on good schedules and making sure they are getting enough sleep. It is a great book that you can just browse through since it is broken up into ages you don't have to read it cover to cover. It is really easy reading. This is another life saver. The regular version supringly is better than the twin edition and has more information in it.

All in all it will pass. The begining is very hard especially when you are on your own. Sometimes I would just put mine both in the boucy seat and give them a passifier and continue to bounce them. Eventually they would calm down and pass out. I would always try to stay one step ahead of them and have everyting ready for the next feeding. It made it much calmer and less chaotic. Your in the thick of it now, but in time it will get better. Have you tried putting them under an activity mat. Mine really loved the Rainforest once since it flashes lights and music for 20 minutes, they are pretty cheap on craiglist. Mine also loved sitting under a cieling fan in their boppy pillows. You could also try brining your stroller in and just strolling them around the kitchen until they calmed down.

 

Just FYI, Dads belong to twinstuff too (though I'm not one)

*I'd call your pediatrician, and ask…. And ask how much formula they can/should have, and ask about food allergies.



It sounds like they might be overfed, and this might be causing reflux or other tummy discomfort. I'm not a doctor, but from what I remember at this age I think ours were taking 3 to3.5 oz bottles every four hours. Our babies have 5 6.5 oz bottles a day- at 10 months, and they are as cute and chunky as can be. Their pediatrician said we shouldn't give them more than 7 oz bottles at a time at 10 months (but then again, they had reflux). 6.5 oz at a time sounds like an awful lot of milk to put in a 10 week old!



Contrary to belief, some babies will drink and drink even to the point of discomfort. My co-worker's baby was projectile vomiting for over a day. After 48 hours at Children's Hospital in Oakland, they told him the problem was they were feeding him too much. I THINK his baby was having 4.5 oz/ a time at about 3 months.



If you talk to the pediatrician and overfeeding isn't the problem, it might be an allergy?



The possible allergy is from something I heard from a dad.

His baby cried for two weeks straight, except when sleeping.

His wife was His wife at the time was breastfeeding.



It turns out the baby had a milk allergy. Even though milk was processed through his wife something about the milk got to his baby.



His wife stopped drinking milk, and the problem went away.



Are the babies on a milk-based formula? If so, you may want to call their pediatrician and talk about trying one that isn't milk-based. It might not be the problem, but that might be it. Your story sounds a lot like the other one I've heard.



If this wasn't constant, I'd think they were sick

Please note, changing formula can cause fussiness for a time.

]

 

To add to my last response, I'm not a doctor, but I really, really, REALLY think the problem is probably being overfed.

 

That really does seem to be an awful lot of formula for that age. Does your doctor know that's how much they get?

If you reduce the amount, and still find it a problem, the best thing that helped my kids with colic/gas/etc. was probiotics. I get it in powdered form and it has really made them so much happier.