How do you handle dumb comments?

I've gotten used to the standard twin comments and, while they get old quickly, I know that they're harmless. However, I've gotten two comments lately that really bother me and I'd like to have a response ready for the next time they occur.

First, it seems like lately anytime one of my boys is crying, someone will ask me if he is the bad/difficult twin. It's happened a few times and I just think it's wrong. I don't get why one twin is supposed to be the bad one.

Then at a party yesturday, not only did I get the bad twin comment when Nick cried for a minute while I got situated to nurse him, but then one of the women kept talking about how Alex is the handsome one. Alex is more alert and interacts more so people seem to favor him, but this was the first time someone has actually called one twin more attractive than the other. She kept going on and on about it and even got her daughters saying it. My boys look very different so I understand that people will probably find one to be more attractive, but I don't want people saying it infront of the boys or their older sisters.

Has anyone dealt with either or both of these before?

 

I've never been the type of person that can come up with great comebacks but I have been asked if Kyle/Addison was the fussy one when they cried and I think I said something like, "No, he/she cries just like any baby when they need something."

As for the second remark...yikes! That is so rude! I would be tempted to say something like, "So out of your brothers and sisters, were you the more attractive one, or the less attractive one?" Just so she could understand what it was like to be compared since she's obviously clueless at how inconsiderate she's being.

 

Some people are so dang rude! I have had people ask my which one is the bad twin and I look at them like they are stupid because I think it is a stupid question and tell them they both have their good and bad days just like any other child. I have never had anyone compare my kids looks in front of them, how totally rude! I think you had every right to tell that lady what she was doing was hurtful and not right.

 

I haven't dealt with one being better looking than the other comments b/c mine look exactly alike. But I have dealt with some strange comments, right down to grilling me about how tall I am and wanting to argue that it must be why I had twins.

Most of the time people are just curious and interested in twins and it's harmless.

 

I have not gotten the comment that one is more cuter then the other, I have gotten the comment when one was crying if that twin was the fussier one. I used to reply, nope they switch it up like any other baby. I know those comments can be annoying, I think sometimes people just don't know what to say but want to say something and they think they are being witty.

 

I dont usually say anything until I get home and then I tell my DH was an @$$ someone was. :lol:

 

What a wretched thing to do. I'd call her out on it..... or look at her and tell her one of her daughters is the pretty one, but so sad for the other poor thing.... okay just kidding. I wouldn't dare say something like that. I think I would just stand firm that both of the boys are beautiful and you would appreciate her keeping her opinion to herself.

 

:bad: Some(ok, quite a few!) people just don't think before they speak. :gah:

 

I'm sorry about this dumb woman offending you, she sounds very immature. I'm not sure how i'd react tbh i guess i would be abit like DATJMOM (depends on the time of the month too lol)

MIL barely know's Amber but has babysat for Ruby once when she was 3months old. Amber is my social butterfly usually but she has become very stranger aware so when MIL picks her and doesn't get any smiles like she does from Ruby, we get all day that Amber is "so serious" When in actual fact she is far from it, she is such a comedian most days!! I'm yet to work out how to tell her that she is not the serious one, she just doesn't know her at all so is a little anxious! So with friends and family Amber has been labelled the "greedy one" and now the "serious one" people just say whatever comes into there heads as fact and it's annoying.

Whoah sorry for rambling lol

 

OMG! I hate the.. which twin is what ... questions? People are so eager to categorize them and compare them. I hate it! and I will be damned it anyone says anything like that in front of my girls. SO I nip any comments like that, neg or positve, right away. I agree with monkey momma below. But I also just simply say... please don't comapare my girls like that. They are individuals and don't neeed to be compared to one another. I feel its rude and I don't want them to feeel like they are competing against each other. I am sure you didn't mean it that way.... but in the future can you please be more considerate with your comments about them and don't ever compare them again. thank so much. I appreciate it. " I have said something to that effect to all my family members who have uttered anything close to a comparison comment/question, including my mother-in-law. Its hard enough to be a kid growing up. I would do or say anything to protect my girls. With respect of course. )

 

Honestly, I don't know what people are thinking sometimes. Obviously some aren't thinking at all.

 

My girls look very different. One has blond hair and one has brown hair, but they both have blue eyes. I've had people say that it's sad they both didn't get blond hair bc my youngest is so cute. People are always saying things like that about the blond/blue eyed twin. Quite honestly I just ignore them. When the girls get older if it continues I may say something, because it is rude.

 

Eh, it's annoying- but a lot of people don't quite realize that twins are actually (GASP) two separate people, and not a single entity.

And books and movies dramatize the whole "good twin/bad twin" dichotomy.

I think people are just trying to make conversation, and if they had the opportunity to see a video of themselves asking those questions, they would see how silly they sounded.