Complete Strangers

Why is it that just because I have 2 small babies, a complete stranger would think that it's perfectly acceptable to ask me how they were conceived? It's almost always at Costco, but today took the cake. A lady asked if we did IVF, then proceeded to tell me she had triplets and her son was expecting twins. I was as polite as possible, but really just wanted to say, "If you have triplets, then you ought to know better!"

Sorry, had to vent. We were just quite the side show today.

 

We were at Ikea one time, standing in the elevator with some people. A woman asked if we had twins (Yep!), then asked "How did you have them?" I had no idea what she meant and said "At the hospital..." My husband just chuckled as the doors opened and the lady walked away, pretty puzzled.

 

LOL! i love this!! i'm going to have to remember it for the next time i am asked that question!

 

i don't know but i get that a lot too. it's annoying. i also don't like when people break the arms length rule just because they are twins. there is no reason thate everyone has to stare and ooh and ahh over the babies just because they are twins. makes me feel like a freak of nature sometimes :/

 

It is very annoying. Why a complete strange her any business knowing my reproductive history, I can't imagine. I think an appropriate response would be, "And how did you conceive your children?"

 

We were leaving a bookstore with the babies in their strollers when an obnoxious woman admired them and then tried to touch them. My husband pushed them away from her real fast, and she got upset and then said that she understood, that she wouldn't want a stranger to touch her babies either. Ugh!

 

I'm sorry that it bothered you! I'm on the other side though, it doesn't bother me. Now I would never ask, because I'm just not that outgoing. But the "oh better you then me" remarks are the ones that get me. I don't have a problem with people asking how or asking if they run in the family. I'm blessed that we were finally able to have them after spending so much money and going through so many struggles. I often say it took 7 years and a lot of money and strength to conceive these two! I guess it's just me :lol: I am sorry that it bothers you and so many others, I guess we all have our peeves!

 

I am always puzzled about this question. Why do strangers really care? I mean, the result is the same. If I used IVF are you suddenly going to look at me differently, like my kids aren't real? It is like the "did you have them naturally?" question. I really hate that one! But I am direct and educate people to realize that these questions are not appropriate. They can take my advice or leave it, I am already walking either way. Except for grandparents - I let those folks off the hook. ardon:

 

I think some people just don't think before they talk and are just trying to make conversation. But, you're right, definitely none of their business!!

 

Sometimes I feel like people have never seen twins before. Seriously, everywhere we go we get questioned. My twins look nothing alike and once a lady asked me the "are they twins" question and I said yes and she asked me why the didn't look alike. I started to tell her they are fraternal and she said, "oh they aren't real twins then." HELLO? What an idiot.

 

I'm sorry that it annoys you! I don't really mind the questions. Do I think it's any of their business? No, but I know it's mostly just natural curiosity, so I don't mind. The rude comments bug me a little, but, then I consider the source, and well, it's just not worth getting too upset over!

 

How were they concieved is kind of a weird question and it would definately give me pause. I do understand why she asked. Since she had triplets and had probably gone through IVF herself. Twin and triplet moms (I think) feel they belong to a very special club and we are all bonded by being members of this club. I'm sure she was only making conversation with truely the best of intentions. I also don't get aggravated when people talk to me about the twins. Twins are special and I'm proud to have them and happy that people are delighting in my children. Yes, people say things that we've already heard a million times, probably even in the same day, but they don't know that and I really believe that if people are taking the time to chat with me that it is out of kindness and friendliness. Those are the qualities I love to see in the world around me. If everyone walked by me and never made eye contact or spoke, then I would feel like a freak. Thats just my take on it. Enjoy the attention. Being a twin mom is a very special thing.

 

Stuff like that just doesn't bother me. I think people are trying to be friendly and just don't know what to say and since fertility is such a common thing these days, that comes to mind. I don't think people intend to me rude and really, what's the big deal? Are you ashamed of it? I don't care telling someone, yes, we used fertility drugs.

I especially don't find it odd if she has triplets. She is already in "the club" of multiples. After all, isn't that what we are all doing here? Telling lots of TMI stories to total strangers?

I'd rather someone come up and politely ask then to live in a world where no one talks to anyone unless you already know them.

 

I had a lady come up to me in Babies R Us today to comment on my twins, asked me if we'd done IVF, and when I said no, she said "Oh.. Well. I understand. I wouldn't want to broadcast it, either.. but you and I both know that you can't get boy/girl twins naturally."


Seriously, lady?

I just gave her the "wtf" look and walked away.

 

it is amazing what people ask... I used to get more bothered by it... and still do sometimes. I think I've had most of the comments that were previously mentioned.... I liked the "at the hospital" answer... I'll have to remember that if it comes up.

double trouble... ugh... I try to just say double blessings to that.

 

I've got to the point now I just bluntly tell them it's none of their business. I don't have time or patience to deal with idiots. I'm a mother of two, still recovering from surgery, and trying to finish a remodel.

Seriously if they can't bother to be polite about it then I can't bother to be either.

I do really love the comment about having them in the hospital though! :rotflmbo:
That one I'll remember for future use!

Why the heck should it matter how they got here though to people? The fact is they are here. Can't take them back for a refund.

 

This hasn't been one i've dealt with ...yet, i'm sure the time will come! I think it is so nosy and a very personal question to ask a complete stranger. It is like asking them what position their own children were conceived in, you just wouldn't would you!!!