This is not getting any easier...

Hi all. It seems like I read so many posts on here where people have their 8 week old and younger twins feeding every 4-5 hours. This is so not happening for us. I would kill for that. My twins are up at night at least every 3 hours. They are totally inconsistent with how much they eat during all of their feedings. Sometimes they eat 2oz, other times 7oz. I am a very scheduled person and this randomness is driving me nuts. I try to follow a HSHHC type approach, but if they don't want to sleep after 90 minutes, I don't know how to make them.

The worst past of our days is from 6pm or so to 10pm or so. It's like one long feeding and neither baby will sleep during those hours. I thought by now since they are both so much bigger, they'd be making some progress, but they really don't seem to be. They are great babies in general and don't cry excessively unless they are hungry, but they are hungry all the time!

What am I doing wrong?? Or did anyone else have twins still up a lot at nght at 8 weeks? If so when did it get better? Just a little progress would be so encouraging.

Thanks!
AJ

Elliot & Leah are 8 weeks old today!

Edited to say: omg. I can't believe what my iPhone edited my sub-title to be. So embarrassing/funny.

 

from what i've been told it doesn't get better until about 4-6 months and even then some mom's are still on an every 3 hour schedule.

i can't really help or offer any tips or words of encouragement because my boys are 6 weeks old and are fairly scheduled even though we feed them "on demand". our feeds are typically 4-5 hours a part with anywhere from 4 to 6ounces a feeding.

have you tried a different formula maybe, or are your breastfeeding? i know that breastfed babies often require more feeds than formula babies.

i really don't know what else to say except that i hope it gets better for you VERY soon. i can't imagine being so clustered like that.

 

Deep breath. You arent doing anything wrong. Mine were just like yours. I would have killed for a 3 hour feeding schedule that alot complain about. We really never had that. I fed mine on demand and they went anywhere from 1.5 hours to maybe 3 hours. But they really never did 3 hours at night until they were about 12 weeks old. I was so sleep deprived and angry.

A couple of things you can do during the day is try and establish a routine. Try feeding every 2 hours for starters and go from there. See if you can get them to become more consistent with the amounts they take. Try a different bottle. Maybe they dont like the nipple. Are you swaddling them at night? How about some white noise in their room? That really helped ours.

Hang in there. It will get better but slowly. All babies are different and will sleep longer in their own time. :hug:

p.s I am not editing your title because its kinda funny! :lol:

ETA: We really didnt start following HSHHC until they were closer to 3-4 months. I found that they always fell asleep on the bottle and were really in no sort of a routine until closer to 4 months. So, maybe that might take a little stress off of you right now.

 

I think eating every 4-5 hours is the exception not the norm. Mine were eating every 2-3 hours day and night at 8 weeks and the evening hours were not fun. I also followed HSHHC though each child is different and a pair of little ones make it even more difficult to really schedule.

Hang in there, it does get better.

 

Your fine! Bottle right? Then mine were still on the boob but were about 1.5-2 hours eating. Can't tell you how much cause there is know way of knowing. I think 3 hours is great myself! 2 months is still youngs, so I wouldn't worry to much. Feed on demand still. Around 4 months is when you'll start to come out of the fog.

 

Hugs! My boys went through an awful phase where they cried or ate from 7-9 EVERY night! Luckily it was just a phase, so hang in there! My boys were horrible eaters and ate 2 ozs a feeding with all of our efforts. It got better as they grew but rarely, even at 8 months drank more than 4 oz a feeding.

 

I think 8wks is still in the thick of things. I din't think our boys slept longer than 90min at that time as well, it was probably around 12wks or so when they started stretching their night feeds. And only recently after solids started did they go 4hrs between feedings. Hang in there you are almost out of the biggest sleep deprivation you will ever have!!! Trust me it gets better and thats coming from a mommy who thought it would never ever get better!!!

 

Hang in there, you are doing great. I remember thinking at 8 weeks, isn't this suppose to be better by now? Aren't I suppose to have down a schedule? Argh! It does get better. For us, I remember thinking I rounded a corner around weeks 12-14. My babies started getting the clue that it was naptime and it made things so much easier. They also started sleeping for longer stretches at night. I think at 8 weeks we were still nursing every 2 1/2 hours (no longer, sometimes less). Although, I'm assuming you are formula feeding or using EBM since you know the ounces! I think it was also around that 12-14 week mark that we moved to nursing every 3 hours. We're still on a 3 hour schedule, but I am pretty sure with formula, you can stretch out longer. Also, remember a lot of those articles/books you'll read on sleep and naps and schedules are written for people with ONE baby! It takes longer to get on schedules and such with two babies, just because you are trying to get them on the SAME schedule. Don't let those articles/advice make you feel bad or behind or frustrated (it's easy to do!). Good luck, hang in there, it'll get better!!!

 

You are not a horrible mom! You are doing great, absolutely nothing wrong. At 8 weeks, my 2 were all over the map with how often & how much they ate. They were still eating every 3 hours until they were much older. As for the time between 6 & 10 at night, :hug: . We've also gone through phases like that & it is so difficult. Hopefully it will just be a short lived phase. :hug:

 

My boys did the same thing and they were such poky eater taking anywhere from one hour to one and half hours to take 1-2 ounces and then once you were done both you had to start all over again. This went on till they were four months old and then they started to get better. I did try feeding them every two hours during evening and sometimes they would give me a longer stretch at night. My best advice is take all the help you can get in these first few months it really is does help. I would not have made it through had it not been for my family and friends who helped out. My boys are now 9 months old and still eat every three hours during the day but they only wake up once at night now. It will get better, you are doing a fabulous job

 

Oh Big hugs coming your way!! I felt like this not so long ago, it seemed like everyone said it got easier after 6wks, then 12wks, then 4 months but for us it was 6months..the difference in eatiing and sleeping has been amazing! I can now say i am enjoying being a twin Mum, I'm afraid i hated the most part of the first 6months, it was SO HARD!! We were very much still trying to survive at 8wks, i know that doesn't help you but please try and keep in mind that it DOES get better and you will look back and feel sad at how quickly it flies by. The babes will put themselves on a schedule soon but for now try and just let it go..you don't need the extra worry, it will come sooner than it feels now. Your doing a fantatsic job! :hug:


p.s i was a little scared to enter ths thread, given the title :rofl: :hug:

 

Big :hug: !!! Don't worry, you're not the only one. My LO's just turned 8 weeks yesterday.

With my first son I was more of "feed on demand" type person and kept the same attitude with the new LO's. At first it didn't seem too bad, but then around 6 weeks they decided to "wake up" and everything went askew. :huh: I would barely make it through the day, and at the end of the day I had no idea who ate what, who had their diaper changed when and ultimately what my own name was.

That's when I read a previous post that went around talking about the same thing. One very smart mommy suggested putting the LO's on a 3-hour feeding schedule, starting at whatever time I wanted them to wake up. 7:00 sounded good to me, so the first day I woke up my DS at 7:00 and fed him a bottle, followed by my DD and I continued to do so at 10, 1, 4, 7 & 10 before putting them down for the night.....ahhhh, a schedule.

Now, I've only been doing this for a week, but I can't believe how much my life has changed in that one short week. All of a sudden I was paying closer attention and the babies were sleeping from 10 to 4 with the 1:00 feeding in between. I would give them the option to stay awake and if they got fussy I would swaddle them and off to sleep they would go. :Clap:

However, that being said I will tell you that we still deal with the 6-10 pm "witching" hour. And again big :hug: because I REALLY feel your pain on that one! At that time there is NOTHING we can do to make them happy. It's a huge struggle but I'm hoping it's something they will grow out of!

A lot of people say that it's going to get easier and I believe them, there's a lot of smart mommies on here!!! :bow2:

 

My LO's did this about the same time. I've heard it called cluster feeding and it is very annoying. It does pass. I always felt like it was my fault and maybe I wasnt producing enough milk for them. People would make me feel like I wasnt feeding them enough. So I would nurse them as much as I could and then I would give a bottle to anyone that made that comment and let them feed them. Mine are 4 months and still eat every 2 1/2 hours like clock work. They do go to bed around 8 and get up at 2am for a feeding sometimes and sometimes they just need a paci put back in. I have never seen a baby eat every 5-6 hrs during the day, but that has been my experience. Hang in there it does get better and I remember being relieved when the cluster feeding stopped. However when they are going through a growth spurt they will do this again, but it usually only last 2-3 days at the most. I try and stay home when they start this. Good luck!

 

I know it's hard to read about other people's successes at their babies doing these things so young. I was definitely not this lucky. I breastfed till 6 months so I'm not sure how MUCH they ate at a sitting but they ate every 2 hours at that point. IF they made it that long. Sometimes it was 1.5 hours! It was nuts. The only reason they slept longer at night (maybe 3 hours at a time) was because they slept ON me until they were almost 4 months! The first 5 months were really really hard on me. I honestly barely remember it and I'm glad I took so many pictures. My babies started doing better between 5-6 months. That was a huge change. I did switch to formula at 6 months but they were still eating very frequently - 2 hours. I sometimes could stretch them to 3 hours. They just have little tummies from "snacking" when they were little. It's just what they do best on and I've kind of adjusted their feeding schedule to suit their needs and it works for us. Once they got to 6 months I was able to do more of a schedule/routine. I didn't get them STTN until almost 9 months and I had to do CIO. Honestly it was the best thing I did because naps and eating are better ever since then but they still usually will have 4-5 oz when they wake up and another 4-5 oz before they go down for a nap. The only time they eat a full 8 oz at a time is at bedtime. Anyway - yes it DOES get better but sometimes it does take time. I think I've learned a lot and I'm hoping to change a couple things with this next baby but there are some precious moments in the middle of the night that I would never take back. Also at 8 weeks they're still going through some serious growth spurts and I remember probably the first 10-12 weeks I pretty much spent on the couch breastfeeding. They ate almost the whole time. It WILL get better and you will find a routine and the schedule will come. I promise. I really had some serious doubts but here I am....after all the trouble I had I am feeling we are finally on a real schedule! YAY LOL You'll get there.

 

I just wanted to send you :hug:. You know, we went through the witching hour until our LOs were around 4 mos old. We would try to get them to bed after reading posts of so many folks who would have 6 pm bedtimers who awoke at 6 or 7 am. We started at 5:30 for a 6:30 bedtime every night and for a few weeks we might get them asleep by 11 or midnight (after trying exhaustively that whole time - they would sleep a few mins, then wake up, repeat that pattern a million times.) Then around 3 mos it became 9 or 10, and so on, and now at almost 6 mos they are asleep by 6:45/7:00 every night. They also do not STTN yet but they just in the last two weeks are down to one feed a night - technically they sometimes STTN. During those late nights they were giving us a 3-4 hour morning nap - they were obviously extending those night-time hours they missed.

Sometimes you read these incredible success stories that sound like the norm but I have read every sleep book and followed them perfectly and it is apparent to me that you can guide and set up the best circumstances for your LOs, but they are going to run the show for a bit. opcorn: I was told to keep up the routine and it would click eventually. The goal that they would come around someday is what has kept us going and we are almost there - have faith in yourself - you are a great momma! I actually think every 3 hours sounds great for babes that young. As far as feeding, we BF but my LOs were always 3-4 hour feeders which seemed long, until they hit 4 mos, since them they feed every 2 - 2.5 hours!!! You just cannot compare any baby hardly. I know we hit every growth spurt and the cluster feeding was incredibly frequent. Now I am rambling, but hang in there momma. I never thought it would be better but it does get there - every single day you are headed in the right direction. That is probably annoying to keep hearing but posters on this forum promised me it would get better and it has, and I remember how miserable some of those nights were and I thought we would never get through. I just kept taking a deep breath. Hugs.

 

Sorry to post again, and I might be incorrect because it has been a month or so since I read HSHHC, but I am pretty sure Dr. Weissbluth talks about starting this early for a lot of good reasons, but many LOs may not be able to really achieve results until 4 or 5 months. I guess my point is that you should not give up too early - stay with your routine and it should help over time as your LOs develop their biological rhythm.

 

Just a really quick post (dinner's still on the stove...). If scheduling works really well for you, try out Gina Ford's "The New Contented Little Baby Book". She also has a twin edition ("A Contented House with Twins"), but I think you need to read the one for singletons first anyway. For us, that really helped us stay sane through those first few crazy weeks.
Hope things'll settle down soon! Hugs,
Rachel

 

:hug:

I'm there with you at the 3hr feedings. We have a ways to go yet before we hit 8 weeks. By that time I'll be doing it by myself most likely.
We are doing half our feedings with formula and the other breastmilk. So, I still get to get up every three hrs to pump. No sleep for the wicked!

We have a sleep schedule. Even if the kids aren't on a schedule or keep to the same one - YOU NEED SLEEP.

The hubby takes the first 6hrs of feedings. When I wake it's his turn to hit the bed. We spend the rest of the time doing feedings, housework, etc.

You can work your sleep schedules however you want it, but make sure you get it. We found this is essential regardless of however the kiddos want to eat and sleep.

Just hang in there and remember we're here for you when you need to vent!

 

This sounds normal to me. My boys ate every 3 hours around the clock until 8 months old, which is longer than average, but I think the vast majority of babies in the first 3-4 months need to eat every 2-3 hours.

Now I do have some ideas about getting them to go back to sleep at night after they eat. Even though my kids were not good at STTN, after about a month I did have them well trained, so they knew the difference between day and night. When they got up at night they almost always went right back to sleep after eating. Here are my ideas:
1. don't turn the lights when you feed them in the night
2. don't talk to them or stimulate them when you feed them
3. Have them sleep in one place during the day for naps and have them sleep in their cribs at night. That helps them get to know the difference.

Good luck!! I found the period from about 5-7 weeks to be pretty tough. There was also a lot of crying, and most of it was in the evenings.

 

OMG. I am crying right now seeing all these responses! I don't even have a moment to read them all, but I will try my hardest to get to them tomorrow. Thank you all do much. It's so helpful to know I'm not alone!!

 

good luck! hopefully you get some nuggets to process tomorrow.

http://www.twinstuff.com/forum/index.php?/topic/141740-am-i-doing-this-right/
My reply to you would be similar to what I posted in this topic...

at that age, I followed The Baby Whisperer, and also swaddled from "The Happiest Baby on the Block"...

the other main thing is to do closer together feedings during the day 2 to 2.5 hrs and then they get their "ounces" in during the day, and can sleep more at night.

good luck - you've gotten a lot of good advice above.

 

This is such a helpful post. Mine are 6 weeks and it's so hard. I constantly worry that they are hungry/not enough milk supply/etc and also that we are creating unfixable sleep problems/associations for the future. Despite our best efforts to follow suggestions from Karp's Happiest Baby and Hogg's Baby Whisperer, they get way way off the routine alot.

They sometimes fuss during breastfeedings, sometimes fuss immediately after breastfeedings, sometimes take a full 4oz bottle after breastfeeding (usually occurs just when my parents suggest that maybe they'd sleep better if they weren't so hungry - thus proving their theory and causing me to heap shame and guilt upon myself for starving my babies). Sometimes they will breastfeed for 35 min with good latch and frequent pausing sucks and swallows, delatch on their own, doze for 1-2 min, then wake up, fuss, cry, suck their hands, root, smack on our necks then totally refuse to relatch, take pacifier, suck our finger, or take a bottle. Sometimes they take 1 hour to breastfeed then take the next 2 subsequent hours to play put down/pick up from crib at which time we feed again (sometimes we feel unable to interpret the cry and end up feeding them again 30min - 1 hour after the previous feeding), sometimes we get so sick of pick up/put down we cave in and rock endlessly or force ourselves to remain awake while they peacefully sleep on our chest or give them a little mini-nursing then agonize about how they're learning to only fall asleep with the breast in their mouths etc. (Sorry Baby Whisperer, the shush-pat has not worked for us).

Note that all of this is only SOMETIMES so none of these things happens consistently enough to make educated guesses about how to make progress toward:

1) a somewhat predictable routine
2) babies who act full consistently after feeds
3) the skill to fall asleep in crib while drowsy

Just when I am convinced I am starving them (despite the fact I can almost always hand express BM immediately after they come off the breast on their own) and go buy the fenugreek and oatmeal, they suddenly nurse for 20 minutes and sleep soundly for 4 hours (this behavior of course is not sustained). We generally feel like we have no idea what we're doing. The randomness of it all is killing us (as is the neurotic worrying and guilt trips).

So far the only thing that has helped is praying (I am totally not kidding). When they are crying and I am crying and I get to the point where I've tried everything and I don't know what else to do, I have asked God to give me a peace that surpasses all my own understanding and the guidance to take care of these precious little babies He decided to entrust to me even in all my ineptness (this is really short and quick as I am exhausted). Nothing really magically resolves but I do feel at peace with the current situation after praying. I have had to repeat this a few times over the past month when I've gotten to that point of feeling totally helpless.

Now, I'd really like to hear some responses like "my twins used to act hungry all the time and then blank happened and we realized for sure that they weren't hungry at all, so from then on we did blank and they acted full after every breastfeeding and we no longer had to avoid visiting relatives for fear of the shame of having hungry babies while the supermarket shelves are full of formula"

ps: I absolutely have nothing against formula, I'd actually like to use it to allow someone else to feed them while I slip away to get a really great massage. However, it currently feels like the enemy because it is being used to top them off after breastfeeding sessions when they act hungry thus making me feel like that breatfeeding session failed, I dislike feeling like I'm using the babies to prevent engorgement and they are just waiting for the little nursing session to be over so they can get at the good satisfying fast flowing formula from a bottle. (Did I mention I also incessantly worry about/monitor for signs of nipple confusion, nipple preference, and breast refusal? I've got a supplemental nursing system in the closet, just in case).

 

Hey there,
We are 3 months and still on a very erratic schedule. The daytime can be chaotic and a pain sometimes, but we just go with the flow and we eventually get some down time. I am very greatful that they are sleeping for longer periods at night now, definately not STTN, but they sleep for 4-6 hours straight most of the time. Good luck. It'll get better, or so they tell me, lol.

 

Hi again. I really appreciate all these responses. A week later, things are pretty much the same, but I feel a lot better knowing that I’m not the only one with 2 month old twins that refuse to follow a schedule.

Someone asked what I was feeding them, and they are fed almost exclusively pumped milk, with some nursing (my son particularly) and the occasional formula top off. Nursing has not been especially efficient for us, so I’ve been pumping a ton for the past 9 weeks.

I think they are just hitting a fussy stage right now. The witching hour (6pm to 10pm) is very frustrating. I’ve been trying to feed them more often during the day, but I just can’t force them to eat! So I suppose we’ll keep going how we’ve been and letting the babies lead the way. I do go back to work in 7 weeks when the babies will be close to 4 months old , so I really hope they begin to sleep a bit better at night or I’ll be a zombie at the office.

Thanks for all your advice. I guess I shouldn’t really complain about this, because the babies do tend to go down pretty easily after night feedings, and they don’t cry excessively. And they are incredibly cute, which is good, b/c if they weren’t…

Greyerlking – Love your post. I wish I could write as well as you when I am not sleep deprived! I feel your pain on the bfing issues. When I nurse, I inevitably end up feeding them a full freaking bottle thereafter despite them eating for 30+ minutes and gulping the whole time… It drives me nuts, which is why I end up pumping so often.