Please don't touch my babies.

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by mollyjm, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    We all know we're the freak show, but do we have to be the petting zoo too? People often just come up and start touching them. Questions are one thing but this is going to far. Touching Their feet and even their hands! They put their feet and their hands in their mouth! Hello! I really never have figured out how to handle this. Especially when I'm grocery shopping and the babies are in the cart that I'm pulling not pushing. I DO NOT want people touching my babies. I don't know who these strange people are. How do you handle this one?
     
  2. raysNkids

    raysNkids Active Member

    When I was pregnant, I read on here that there's a little stop sign that a website will send to you but I can't remember the link right now. Maybe someone else remembers? I sure hope so because I would sure like to order one! I hate it when strangers touch my babies' hands and feet...or get within inches of their little faces!
     
  3. MelinaS79

    MelinaS79 Well-Known Member

    I'm not polite about it. I find it a gross violation of privacy. I appreciate the comments and such, but no touching my children. I either pull the stroller/cart away very quickly if they begin to touch them, or I have been known to pull out my antibacterial kid wipes in front of people and wipe their hands/feet/etc.. and say "I'm sorry but I don't know you nor do I know where your hands have been. I'm sure you understand."

    I was polite to start out with but people still didn't get it.. I've found that being forceful-bordering-on-not-nice was the best way to go.. Have to keep my babies safe, and people pawing at them isn't safe. Especially with cold season coming up. Eww.
     
  4. lawilliams77

    lawilliams77 Well-Known Member

    Oh I have such a horror story about this for you. If you think hands and feet are bad.....
    A friend had her baby at church and was changing their diaper on the changing station in the bathroom. He was crying. An elderly woman came out of the stall and without washing her hands, stuck a finger in the baby's mouth to comfort him. Holy Moly! I couldn't believe what I was hearing when she told me this. She was in shock that this happened. She handled it politely I'm sure but I'm not sure how I would react. I just pray something like that would never happen to me/my babies.
     
  5. LeeandJenn15

    LeeandJenn15 Well-Known Member

    Yes!! I remember when my DS1 was about 2 months old we were at Denny's and the waitress touched his hand!!! Yuck!! I am sure she was clean and everything, but still - I have worked in food service and I know everything that your hands touch throughout the day, and those were not things I'd want in my baby's mouth!! I totally agree!
     
  6. angs241

    angs241 Well-Known Member

    I like it! I'm not sure how I missed them, but what are antibacterial kid wipes? I need some! I've been using just regular wipes all this time.
     
  7. piccologirl

    piccologirl Well-Known Member

    you don't owe it to people to be polite when they violate your boundaries as a parent. there's a difference between being "rude" and being rightfully protective your children. IT IS OKAY to tell people not to touch your babies. this comes up a lot, where mothers are scared to tell complete strangers to back off. you don't owe them access to your children. you don't need permission to tell them to back off.

    i've never had this problem. then again, i try to make it very clear with body language that it's not okay to touch. i'd rather people think i'm a ***** than let them manhandle my kids without my permission. :mad:

    that said, i've never had anyone respond as though i was rude to do so. i've had great experiences with people wanting to see the babies and never once has anyone gotten upset that i haven't implied an open door policy to stick the boys' feet in their mouth. :rolleyes:
     
  8. meganguttman

    meganguttman Well-Known Member

    I kept hand gel handy and blatantly made people use it. If someone touched their feet, I'd pull it out and use it on their feet (not as much when they were going through that foot in mouth constantly stage. I also tried to keep socks on them and keep extra socks in my diaper bag. I'd change their socks in front of the person who just touched them!

    Here are some tags to hang on the carrier, but I know there are others out there that are red like a stop sign...just can't find them on google right now.
     
  9. TennesseeMomma

    TennesseeMomma Well-Known Member

    I SO TOTALLY AGREE! I cannot stand when people think they can just touch my children because they want to! GAHH!

    Someone on here (can't remember who! Sorry!) Posted about these little signs you can get to prevent germs spreading during RSV season. It reminds people to wash their hands before they touch! It comes from Medimmune, but now I can't find the place where I ordered them from! Perhaps someone else remembers this post? The signs are really cute and you can put them on your stroller, or carseats...
     
  10. Tarin

    Tarin Well-Known Member

    My Tiny Hands

    I have the red one and no one listens!! I will usually rock the stroller or say something about them being preemies and can you please not touch them. People don't care!
     
  11. newdad2girls

    newdad2girls New Member

    picture
     
  12. raysNkids

    raysNkids Active Member

    That's the little stop sign I was talking about! Uh oh...are you serious? No one pays attention to your sign???? Bummer! I was going to order a couple.
     
  13. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    I need to just throw my manners out the window and get rude! DONT TOUCH!
     
  14. ambernruby

    ambernruby Well-Known Member

    I can't say that this has been a problem for us but i would not hesitate in reminding people not to touch. lol how cute is that stop sign though?
     
  15. tfrost

    tfrost Well-Known Member

    You may be able to get some of the stop sign tags free from your local hospital, especially if your hospital has a NICU. The educational director of the NICU where my boys were led a class that those little tags were distributed in. They kept tons of them there. Just a thought.
     
  16. Callen

    Callen Well-Known Member

    People are rude & will not read signs.

    My BTDT advice is to get these type of infant bug nets that will fit over your infant seats. It will keep a barrier between people and your babies while still allowing you(& others)| to view them. They are also not hot like covering them with a receiving blanket.
     
  17. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member


    this i like. ive tried throwing a blanket over them, but that never works. this looks great though!
     
  18. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'll go ahead and duck and run now, but it's never really bothered me too much. Kids are going to get germs, you'd be surprised what's on your floor in your house, and they are more resilient than you think ;)

    No it doesn't make it okay, but I also don't make a huge deal out of it. It's different when my babies were first born, I didn't let just anyone touch them, but now that they are older, I don't panic.

    Not sure if it's because the twins aren't my first babies or not.....and I've never had sickly kids so maybe that's why too. I just thought I'd throw my opinion in ;)

    Oh and I can't resist little baby feet either myself, so I understand the compulsion to touch! :lol:
     
  19. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    :rotflmbo: I wont throw anything at you!
     
  20. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I always HATED it when someone touched my babies! I like the idea of the bug net, I can see that working.
     
  21. Tarin

    Tarin Well-Known Member

    IF people notice the sign, they won't touch. But a lot of time people don't even look at it. A lot of times I will put the sun shade over them and people will pick them up and look at them :woah: I'm like oh they are sleeping- so they say oh well they are awake now!! People amaze me!!


    I don't care TOO much about germs, but being preemies I would like for people to wash their hands!
     
  22. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :D I'm glad you didn't get mad, to each his own and you gotta do what's comfy for you! :D
     
  23. lawilliams77

    lawilliams77 Well-Known Member


    I'm kind of like you Danielle. It has never bothered me for people touch my babies. People usually don't, but when they do its usually a little grazing touch of a foot, or their heads. I generally don't touch babies of people I don't know but I have caught myself doing that with my friend's babies. It is sort of a compulsion. I don't think people really give it much thought, not that that is okay. After reading all of these posts I don't think I'll ever touch another baby in my life that isn't related to me.
     
  24. MelinaS79

    MelinaS79 Well-Known Member


    I use the Wet Ones anti-bacterial wipes.. I thankfully don't have to use them much because they DO have alcohol in them.. I carry the sensitive ones with me also that DON'T have alcohol in them.. wipe/clean with the anti-bac ones and then clean off the alcohol-y smell with the sensitive ones. They come in travel packs but I keep the cylindrical tub in my diaper bag, I use it to wipe off cart handles and all that too. :) You can find them just about anywhere.
     
  25. vtlakey

    vtlakey Well-Known Member

    The NICU gave us two of those red "stop signs" which say "please wash your hands before touching mine", and they really help! We took our 3 month old boys, who were born at 29 weeks" to my husbands office for the first time yesterday and took them around to all of the cubicles. With those signs hanging from the carrier handles not a single person out of 20 laid a finger on them. We got a second set in the mail from the makers of the RSV vaccine. I highly recommend them!
     
  26. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    i Had real issues with this since my one was immune-compromised from being on steroids. I found they just lifted the blanket so the netting was the best. I had a double stroller cover from "Burlington coat factory" it was blue with a white netting. It helped. Also if any woman aged 43- and up would make eye contact I would move the stroller very quickly in the opposite direction. I would sit in a corner of the restaurant /coffee shop and block myself in so people couldnt' get to me. Walking fast at the mall was good for me physically and prevented alot of stupid comments and touching. I always had wipes handy and wiped them right after. Socks on their feet even in summer prevented touching. If a stranger would approach me and start to look at them I'd quickly say "but dont' touch them" then proceed to say "you WOULDN'T BELIEVE the number of people that think they can touch your babies" if it was say a friend I would hold their hands until out of sight and then wipe their hands. I did have one of those signs and used it. Figured it would stop some. Oh and if someone got their head down their I'd be right next to them, and put my head right next to theirs. It was a nice way of using invading their space and got them out of their quicker without saying anything.....
     
  27. mes_00

    mes_00 Well-Known Member

    I've got to say I don't and never have touched anyones child without their permission. Around here you get a pretty bad reputation in our small town. Nobody messes with anyones kids period. Not even being cute and cuddly about it.

    Perhaps it's because we have a huge womens prison and most of our population has worked there. Too many creeps out there!

    If my kids were older I wouldn't mind folks holding or touching them. Right now not even their grandparents have held them. So don't feel like you are going to extremes! Our NICU Dr's told us the less people around the better till they are released to leave the house. Only for pediatrician appts do the kids get exposed to people other than us. All it takes is one cold for either one to get put back into the hospital right now.

    Worse yet here we have a large amish and mennonite population and most don't vaccinate. So germs are our biggest problem at this time of year.
     
  28. newtothis

    newtothis Well-Known Member

    ugh...i cant get my MIL to wash her hands!!! my DH's whole famiy comes over and not one person ever washes their hands gross.
     
    1 person likes this.
  29. mollyjm

    mollyjm Well-Known Member

    and i love friends and family enjoying my babies and touching and holding them. it's people i dont know. ARE they sick? DID they wash their hands after they went to the bathroom? that's what bothers me. we were at the check out line the other day and this lady the hole time we were there was playing with Colin touching his hands, feet, then Colin was putting his hands and feet in his mouth and I was on the other side of the shopping cart in the check-out place and couldn't reach him to do anything about it. it worried me. but stuff like this happens to me it seems a lot.
     
  30. Nonni2two

    Nonni2two Well-Known Member

    My worst experience happened while leaving Sam's Club when the girls were just learning to sit up in the double cart in their double cart cover. The woman at the door (she checks your receipt as you leave) leaned over so quickly and kissed one of the girls on her open mouth! I was so grossed out! I didn't know what to do but the only thing I could think of was to wipe and scrub her mouth inside and out with baby wipes. Yuck--I could have never anticipated that one.
     
  31. lou.probert@gmail.com

    [email protected] New Member

    I am so glad I found this thread! I freak out at the thought of anyone touching my premmie twins not that i really take them out as yet anyway. I have ordered some of the signs to pop onto their pram. Ahhhh I feel better already! Wonder how long they'll take to reach me in South Australia?

    In theory i have no problem telling people not to touch, but then when it happens i feel so nervous and hate being rude! Although i still do it cos i am so paranoid about them getting sick!
     
  32. lou.probert@gmail.com

    [email protected] New Member

    OMG i felt sick reading that!!!
     
  33. angs241

    angs241 Well-Known Member

    Thanks!
     
  34. busymomof3

    busymomof3 Well-Known Member

    I am very upfront about it and I tell people that my babes have had a very tough start and we are trying to keep all the germs away from them as possible. I also avoid taking my kids to the local grocery store because I know it will just be a swarm of people so I get a sitter so I can go out and have some shopping time to my self. I also keep a little bottle of isogel that I make family and friends use before they touch the boys. Some people think I am rediculous but I don't ever want to spend any more time in the hospital if I don't have to.
     
  35. sreal02

    sreal02 Well-Known Member

    I think it's incredibly rude to touch an infant's face, hand, feet, etc., so I'm not very polite about it in return. I simply say, "Oh, please do not touch their face, hands,--we're trying to keep them as healthy as possible." I've also quickly turned them or blocked a hand with mine when I noticed an incoming face/hand touch. LOL

    I had my daughters at the park the other day & this mom & her little girl were oohing & aahing over the babies. The little girl had grubby little hands & reached over & touched Emmett's face....I quickly said, "Please do not touch his face...your hands are very dirty". I was so irritated. My own 2 daughters ages 4 & 7 never even do something like that!!! I'm sure the mom thought I was being a witch, but I didn't care. :-/ I've always forewarned my girls not to touch other people's babies....just look only. Some people are just crazy.
     
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