Evil Twin vs Good Twin

Maybe you other mamas don't have this problem but I have got myself a pair of evil/good twins. Owen *sigh* where do I start with this kid. When he is happy,he is the most contagiously bubbly baby but when he's not, which seems to be alot lately, he is horrible. Nothing makes him happy, he's becoming a worse napper, a total PITA to feed, refused to BF and is still up at least 2 times a night. Rhys on the other hand is my poor neglected baby - I often wondered if he is going to think his name is 'hold-on Rhys' as it seems I am always dealing with Owen. He is so good- natured, sweet, loving, a wonderful nurser - basically everything Owen is not!!! He has been sleeping the night through for a while and can even sleep through all of Owen's racket. I realize I could have had two babies with Owen's temperament so it could be worse, but I worry that I am treating them differently and they will realize it.I definitely don't want them labeled as good twin/bad twin but its hard not to do.

Sorry for my vent, I feel like such a bad mom

 

Don't feel bad or worry too much yet. It goes back and forth. At that age, my DD was soooo easy - STTN, ate great, even keeled temperment. Now, she's a little prickly, sometimes a drama queen, harder to please, and DS is the happiest baby in the world. Tomorrow, who knows? I think they even out.

 

Don't feel bad. I'm the same way with Aurora. PITA to feed, up several times a night, hit or miss napper, but when she's in a good mood, it's infectious! Here's to hoping our two grow out of this. If not, we can ship them off somewhere to be roommates and maybe that will help. :drinks:

 

Ugh...I feel ya. I wish I had some advice, but I caught myself wondering the same thing the other day about my two. My son is the whiney little drama queen, and his sister is the calm, happy, even-tempered one. He cries over anything and everything; she rarely cries unless she's hungry. Heaven forbid I miss one of the early warning "signs" because Ethan just explodes like a bomb, forcing me to drop what I am doing and tend to him. Seriously, it's zero to a hundred mph with this guy. He does have horrendous reflux issues for which he is medicated, but he has to be held upright after feedings for about 40 minutes before he can be put down. That gets him a lot of "hold me" time right off the bat. Now I've started getting "The Look" from Isabella, as if to say, "Hey, what about me? What am I, chopped liver over here?" Talk about a guilt trip, and boy is she good at it. Yikes. I don't know if I'm imagining that or not. I don't think I am.

Anyway, you're not a bad mom. It's just hard no matter how you slice it. They'll probably take turns over the years being the needy kid. I make sure I balance it out for Isabella after dh gets home from work and we can each take a kid and dote on them individually. They both love the one-on-one attention in the evenings.

 

You are imagining that. A three month old doesn't have the ability to lay a guilt trip. You are transferring your feelings of guilt to her. Not that that's not normal. It is. I think we've all been there. Just know that your DD is not really thinking that.

 

Mine are the same way! Although, today my Rachael who is ordinarily the demanding one was so wonderful that I asked my husband, "Did she have personality transplant or something?.....Where did Rachael go????" NOW, Sarah who is the calm, self-soothing thumb sucker chose today to be her fussiest day ever...FIGURES!!!! It's like they swapped personalities! It's kinda funny. Someday they will both be happy at the same time!

shannon

 

I think this is a normal phase to go through. When mine were infants, DS was so easy to deal with and often he had to take a backseat to DD because she was so needy. It seems like after 12 months, DS became the more needy one and DD is more laid back. You are not a bad mom at all :hug:

 

You are definitely not alone! I am right there with you! Whitney is super laid back and we refer to Aubrey as our Diva!

 

Alice has been the drama queen since day 1. And she's always been a pro at giving dirty looks.

 

My DS was so difficult for the first 5 months or so. When we first brought him home, he screamed through everything (baths, diapers changes, feedings, etc). This went on for months. My DH and I both had a hard time keeping our patience with him My DD was the sweet, quiet and easy baby. Everyone wanted to hold our DD and play with her. A few people were interested in DS, but he soon wore them out!
At one year, my DS is a complete sweetie. I'm so relieved. I was afraid he would scream the rest of his life. He is bubbly and laughs easily. Everyone comments on his smile. So sweet. My DD is much more serious and determined. She is into everything and is so hard to keep up with now. She is quite a handful and very headstrong.
So, things can change in time. Hang in there. Don't feel bad. I felt the same way.
Beth

 

I read your post, Im not sure If I should laugh at it or cry for ya. Totally get it. I don't know how many times I have called from the other room " hold on Colin, momma's comin for you too". Or stood over good ol'Colin holding screaming Lia cause I didn't want him to be ignored while I took care of miss pissy.

 

Totally understand. I have a pair myself. Kelsey is my happy all the time content baby and Ryley has always been my hold me all the time better not leave my sight baby :wub:

 

Just have to say, YAY for Rachael with 2 a's.

 

I used to think the same thing about Rhys - he would watch Owen eat from the bottle and he would get this look in his eyes and I thought it was him thinking "how come I get stuck with the boob and he gets the bottle - not fair!"