I'm Done.

Yeah, I'm done. I've tried to be positive to people, never allowing myself a pity party... until now. I'm tired of everyone I know waiting for me to explode with babies, including those I love most, :hug: - & having to answer the phone quickly so that people don't think something's wrong. I'm tired of EVERYONE giving me sympathy- "I can't imagine carrying TWO"... well, as these are my first, I can't imagine carrying one. Also tired of the attention of the impending twins from strangers- a waitress in Red Lobster asked me if I was having "Identical or PATernal" twins on Saturday... sweet Lord.

I think I never allowed myself to feel this way until now because I've been very grateful to avoid PTL, pre-eclampsia, etc. But now, Wednesday we are 36 weeks. I am huge, today very drowsy, not feeling like eating and to top it off, I went to Michael's to get some accessories for the babies' room and had a pervert take a pic of the underside of my dress whilst I waddled around the store! :grr: (I filed a police report, BTW).

I don't know if I lost my mucus plug- I've had steady yellowish discharge for a couple of mornings/days now (TMI- I'm sorry) and am reasonably freaked out about the possibility that it could be Baby B's water tinged with vernix, as I read about in MichelleL's posting a few days ago. Other than that, I do not want to "nest"- I see dirt but have no desire to clean it, or do random things like re-wash baby clothes. I don't think I've had any contractions- I think Baby A likes to kick straight downward which feels like a pain in the vagina (again TMI, sorry!); just BH ones intermittantly. Oh, and Baby A is breech and Baby B is transverse... so I'm at the mercy of a C-Section, pretty much everything I've tried to get them to flip (playing music, doing handstands in the pool, talking to the babies) doesn't work (very discouraging).

I can't sit down comfortably today, b/c there is so much pressure on one side of my belly as it's very lopsided right now. I can't lay down without having help getting up or getting heartburn, standing hasn't been an option for long periods of time as I swell like a balloon.

Yup, this sucks and tonight I want to be done but feel so selfish thinking this. A good childhood friend of mine just had her baby (we were due within a couple of days of eachother) and she took a long walk to do it. A coworker of mine had a baby 6 mos ago and had her DH rub her ankles... I feel so guilty thinking I COULD do those things to try to go into labor, but feel like with twins, I don't have that luxury. They need to grow and get big. Guess I need to put these on anties: (& they are BIG- had to buy the biggest size WalMart sells yesterday).


Thanks for letting me vent- when I first found TS, I would tell my DH about the end of twin pregnancies sort of like in awe... "Ben, some of these women can't walk"! I didn't think it would happen to me, really. Well, I use Amigos in stores now and 2 days ago I dropped a giftcard in line and an old lady picked it up for me before I could get out of the cart. I'm in that boat now & don't really appreciate it.

Thanks again,

Michelle

 

Bwahahahaha!!! I know that you are genuinely suffering and not all of this was meant to be funny, but this was by far the most eloquent and humorous "end of twin pregnancy" rant that I have read thus far. There were some true gems in there. My personal fave -- being annoyed that the old lady had to pick up the gift card for you. :help: I fully agree with you -- that is indeed rock bottom.

On a serious note, sorry about the pervy b*st*rd -- ew! Really wish the little ones would cooperate and switch positions so that you could avoid the c-section, but I'm sure that everything will be fine. You have done amazingly well, Mama. Hang in there, the end is in sight and at least you still have your sense of humor. :Clap:

 

Hang in there. :hug: There are many of us that would have loved to have made it as far as you have. I am sure it is very tough, but the NICU is also tough.

 

Not much further now! Sounds like you are 100% normal
I remember feeling like 1 more day would do me in...but I made it & so will you!
I think I tried to stay home in those last 2 weeks for a few reasons, one being the crazy comments from people & the other that I could only walk a few feet at a time before being out of breath :laughing:

Hang in there momma :hug:

 

Oh honey, i was just in the same place you are about a month and a half ago! I read all these posts about women being so uncomfortably huge, and I kept thinking...."I will never make it that far"....
But, I made it to 38 weeks and 2 days! My doc had to induce me! Each day I got a little bigger! I was so uncomfortable, tired of the swelling, aching, stares from strangers, questions from strangers, dumb comments from strangers.... I got so big, all I could do was laugh at my own pain.

But, then it was over. And now, I am no longer pregnant, and it is sort of sad. I LOVE my new babies, but miss being pregnant. Strange how fast life moves.

You can do this. Your babies will be here before you know it. Good luck and hang in there!

 

Amen, sister! I am 38 weeks this week and way, way done. I feel exactly as you do, minus the freak at Michael's - gross!

One ray of hope - my baby b flipped at 36 weeks - irrelevant for me as a lover of the c-section - there is still hope!

 

I feel your pain, I am right there with ya!!!! All I can do is cry when it gets too bad, and then put those big girl panties back on and face the rest of the world. It's sooooooooo not easy! I wanna be done too!! :hug:

 

Hang in there you are doing great! You are really maintaining your sense of humor even if you don't feel it right now.

:hug: not much longer!

 

:clapping: I am sad to say that I 2nd that, even though I understand where you're coming from. Your post was so humorous, that even though I was a tad jealous that my twins were born at 33w6d after 11w4d of hospital bedrest and I never got to experience what you are describing, your story was so well written and so humorous, that I did feel what you were experiencing.
Thanks for that post. I hope you got as much good out of your vent as I did reading it! :rotflmbo:

 

Hang in there! You've done such a wonderful job so far, you really should be proud. :Clap:

I think this post (on top of being hilarious) shows too what a weird situation it is for all of us, I know I could relate. The thoughts on top of my mind every day are first avoiding and watching for signs of PTL, and second how grateful I am to be where I am. But that doesn't change how ridiculously uncomfortable I am every day - and I'm "only" 32 weeks! Like I hate even mentioning how miserable it can be sometimes, because I am so grateful to be pregnant in the first place after years of fertility procedures and IVF, and also because I am so glad to still be pregnant. But that gratitude doesn't change the fact that I am freakin' huge already!

 

Agreed! I am grateful to have made it so far and say big pryers morning, noon and night that I can make it a little longer. But that does not change the fact that I feel like I'll explode at any moment, that I have the sensation of a foot sticking out "down there" or that I am absolutely done with all the nosy comments. September 1 cannot come soon enough!

 

another one who relates to you--down to us being w/in a day of one another as well as having twins in the same position!! (twin a breech/twin b trans) bummer isn't it! It is amazing we can go so far as each day is an increasing struggle. Hang in there and hugs to you!

 

I promise you are close! 36 weeks was the worst for me for some reason. So close, yet still hoping another couple weeks. At 36 weeks, I tried to stand up and got stuck half way up and ended up just sobbing afraid I would never be able to stand up again until I had them. But really, the end is completely in sight now, and you've done great!

 

You are doing great Momma! I know those last weeks are tough but the longer those babies are cooking, the better off they are. Towards the end I just kept trying to think of that goal to get me through. Hang in there :hug:

 

THANK YOU ALL!!! :wub:

I feel tons better today- got a good Atarax induced sleep (sometimes I itch a little, residually, from the PUPPPS) and had my LAST peri appointment today.

The boys are a solid 5.5 & 5 lbs. 14 ozs and have everything they need (no funny amniotic levels or anything. Just perfect!). They're still breech & transverse... I think it's time to make my peace with the C-Section as it appears inevitable.

Oh, & I got back some appetite today, which is a relief- ate a bowl of cereal then 2 hrs later a Belgian waffle, a sausage, egg, glass of milk, & glass of water (coulda eaten more, too!)

I'm very glad people got a laugh, too. Some of this stuff is super funny in an odd way & usually I do have a pretty good sense of humor.

In the end, my goal has always been 7 lb-ers with fat rolls and it looks like I'm still on track for this. I am extremely grateful to be here!


Michelle

 

Hang in there!

I read today that sex helps to ripen the cervix (something in the semen)...I know you said you're huge, but it might be good for a laugh with DH! even if it doesn't work you can have a cuddle session.

 

I agree - your ability to have humor right now is fantastic. I can't wait to hear your story when you are on the other side. And - it will happen... it may feel like it won't. Hopefully no more creepy guys before then!!!

 

I hate to also say that I found your post to be hilarious! I really appreciate your eloquance ... I seriously can't believe that perv took a picture - very disturbing. This is beginning to frighten me - I'm only 24 weeks... good lord... how big am I going to be?? And, all the comments get worse - I didn't think it could get any worse. I have some people tell me that they can't believe I'm pg with twins, that I'm not that big... then the others who tell me I'm huge!

Hang in there sista!

 

Thanks all! :wub:

I guess this pregnancy thing is an hour by hour deal. Despite sleeping like crap, usually, (TMI- last night I woke up coughing, went to pee & coughed so hard I threw up on myself on the toilet. That's right. See, in the beginning when you have morning sickness, you usually can make it to the toilet. Now it's a question of bladder control as well. Wish I'd had a bucket by the toilet! :shok: )I still wake up happy enough. I usually am a happy person (I can complain with the best of them, but on the whole I am an optimistic, silver-lining type gal).

BUT. At night, the moon comes out and I turn into some sort of she-beast who terrorizes the Denver suburbs. :grr: There are tears, rubbing of my feet and cankles (Elsie & Bertha, if you weren't acquainted) a second PUPPPS bath with soap that stinks (I can't smell it anymore- good thing. I can't really reach the thing that lets water out of the tub or shave my legs myself, anymore- bad thing!), a rub down of Vicks Vapo Rub where I've itched the crap out of my legs (for opinion, see above comments on bath).

Ooh, the oddest pregnancy symptom yet- watching Colorado Rockies baseball. I have always hated baseball, but now adore it. It's a good sport to adore in the summertime when by the end of the day it's a question of crying or wanting to be knocked out cold for 8 hours as it's on EVERY day or night. It's as dependable as needing to pee in the middle of the night. :bump:

So it was Night-Michelle who originally posted, Day-Michelle that responded that everything was sunshine and rainbows and this current one is a hybrid. Could be a long day.

As friends keep telling me- only 11 more days to go. (If the boys don't decide to come early, they have been served their eviction notice!)

Michelle