Not eating dinner

Ok, I know he won't starve....but honestly? 4 out of the past 5 nights, Conner has went to bed without dinner. One night he ate some cottage cheese & 2 nights he had some bread. That's IT. He gets a sippy of milk before bed, but otherwise has to make it almost 15 hours before eating again (and some mornings he barely eats breakfast!). How is he not ravenously (is that a word?) hungry?

He's eating fairly decent for breakfast & lunch and does not get an afternoon snack (except on daycare days). He gets maybe 3 oz of milk with each meal (some he drinks all & some he drinks none) & then two 8 oz sippies of milk per day (wake & bedtime).

We've tried rewarding him for eating, taking away privileges for not (ie no treat, no trip to store with mom, etc), begging, bribing, etc. Now I'm going to ignore him. I'm done battling.

But...how long can this last? And should I supplement him with some Pediasure or something in the meanwhile?? It's so hard when I see my other twin gobble everything up with no problems!!!! Why can't they both eat like that???

ETA: He doesn't get any juice.

 

I really wouldn't worry about it at all, especially since he's eating ok at other times during the day. It's probably just a thing, and a short lived one, as long as you don't make a big deal of it. Trying to discipline for it will probably only make him dig his heels in more (all that attention!). Brush up those Oscar-winning skills: if he doesn't eat, put on as genuine a "OK sweetie, that's fine" as you can manage. Like you're not all that interested one way or the other. He WILL eat when he's ready.

One thing you could try to get him to eat more is replacing some of the milk he drinks with food. Instead of milk, you could give cheese, yogurt, etc. Or you could cut milk and get more calcium into his diet elsewhere (mac & cheese, etc). There's nothing sacred about milk, it's just a convenient calcium/protein/fat source, and there are lots of other ones to choose from.

But really, I wouldn't sweat it. As long as he's acting normal otherwise, it's fine.

 

I ditto Holly...I wouldn't worry as long as he is eating at other times during the day. Emma was like that for a while. I can't tell you how many times she had a handful of dry multigrain Cheerios for dinner because she refused what I made. I used to stress about it, but then realized she was getting a fair amount of milk, fruit, yogurt, cheese, and occasional veggies throughout the day, and taking a vitamin.

Maybe for the short term you can keep a sort of food journal to see what his daily intake is. That might help ease your mind to see that he's getting enough in at other times. I have read (somewhere) that normally the picky toddler will eat only one good meal a day and pick at the others.

 

I agree with pp to not worry about it. Kids that young WILL eat when hungry. It sounds like he is getting plenty of food during the day. I have one dd who is not a big bfast eater but loves her dinner and the other one needs her bfast but could totally go without dinner (though she sometimes does eat). They go through phases. Maybe his body is not requiring that much right now (not currently in a growth spurt, or not buring as much energy lately). It sounds like between getting bfast, lunch, and two 8 ounce cups of milk that he is getting more than enough in his little body. Just offer him your regular meals and if he's not interested, don't worry about it and don't make a big deal. You wouldn't want someone trying to force food down you if YOU weren't hungry, right? (not saying you are forcing anything but YKWIM) He'll eat when his body tells him to.

 

I agree with PPs -- would not worry too much. At 2, our Ped had us cut back the milk [I want to say < 15oz per day]. I would try eliminating the milk at wakeup and go straight to breakfast. You can also try giving milk AFTER the meal. We used this trick for months with DS who would happily live on milk.

Best of luck!

 

I agree, try not to stress too much about it and cut back the milk. At 2yrs they don't need more than 16oz of milk a day. We started an 8oz cup at breakfast and dinner only. Also, to see how balanced a diet a toddler has you look at a few days to a week vs a day. And I also agree to act totally indifferent to whether he eats or not. It's our job as parents to offer healthy choices and it's up to them how much or if they eat.

 

Thanks, Ladies! I did some googling (trusty internet!) & found lots of articles that just reiterated what you all said. I'll try to not make a big deal out of it & hope that someday soon he'll resume his normal eating patterns.

As for milk, he REALLY likes it. I hate taking it away when it's something he truly likes. I don't think he's filling up on it before meals, as he only gets it before breakfast & it's usually 2 hours before (his morning sippy). I cannot substitute that sippy for breakfast because he is up around 6am & eats breakfast at daycare at 8:30 (so we follow that schedule at home). And, like I said, he only gets about 2 oz with his meals (if he finishes it...he's never allowed extras until he eats). Is 2 oz too much for a meal?

He doesn't get snack foods (except at daycare, which are remotely healthy) & doesn't get juice, so at least the food he DOES get is fairly healthy . I just wish he'd skip breakfast or lunch so that he wasn't going so long without eating each night . I do have daycare doing a little 'recap' of his eating habits for me today & tomorrow, just to see how he's doing there since I can't keep track myself...and then I'll keep track over the weekend. My guess is that Michelle is right...I'll see he's getting in enough overall.

Thanks again! It's extra hard parenting when you worry as it is but then also see another kiddo the exact same age doing something so different (back to the constant comparing, right?)! Aiden is such an awesome eater, but we've always struggled with Conner...so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised!

 

Our Ped suggested no more than 16oz. of milk a day and to aim for 12oz.

That said we do 12oz. a day and Thomas still does not eat dinner unless it is hot dogs or grilled cheese. We do water with meals and milk for "snack".

I doubt his milk intake is affecting his food intake as like I said we stick to 12oz. a day and he still doesnt eat. Some kids are just not dinner eaters.

Thomas is a breakfast guy. He eats 2 eggs. 2 waffles a piece of cheeses and half a banana pretty much every day. Maybe Conner is a lunch man?

 

I have been told, too that 16 oz. max for milk a day. I agree...maybe switching to cheese or yogurt after that.

I have noticed with my two that 2 good meals a day is the norm. It varies with them. Although, my DD is not much of a breakfast eater and will usually make up for it the rest of the day. There are occassions where it is the dinner meal that they decide not to eat. That is one that use to bug me too. My mom had it in my head that I needed to offer other things if they didn't eat dinner so they wouldn't go to bed hungry. I have realized that is pretty much nonsense. I always offer them some things I know they like to eat (at mealtimes). It is their choice if they decide to eat it, but we are done with offering alternatives. I know that they will eat when they are hungry!

 

I think you're on the right track no to worry.

Most of all, I wouldn't force him to override his normal hunger cues. He'll eat when he's hungry. I particularly like the approach that as the parent, your job is to decide what to serve and when. His job is to decide how much to eat (or not).

 

I can't agree with this more. The fact that he is listening to his hunger cues is a GOOD thing! It is us adults who feel like we have to eat because it is "time" and end up gaining weight or having a complex about how much we eat!

I worried a lot about this, too. My kids probably really eat dinner once a month. Other than that, it is a bite here and a bite there. The same goes for lunch many days! I talked to the pedi and he assured me they were gaining weight right on their curve, so I didn't need to worry. I do make sure they get their vitamins every day and try to give them some high-calorie foods to make up for volume. But, as someone who has struggled with my weight my entire life, I am very careful not to turn food into a big issue.

However, I also refuse to give desert unless they eat some "real food" only because I don't want their calories to be empty calories.

 

Well said, so simply put and so true! I need to remember this myself!

 

When my boys have a no dinner night we make shakes. Banana, avocado, milk, yogurt, sometimes tofu. You can add nut butters, other fruits, etc. Packs a wallop, filling, totally healthy, and they drink it down and ask for more.

 

You've gotten really good advice as far as I'm concerned!

I haven't followed milk guidelines. I like them to have milk. My DD will drink two full sippys (8oz.) a day at least, and when they aren't drinking as much milk I give yogurt and cheese and make oatmeal with milk to get it in.

As long as he's growing, it's all good!! I never force them to eat a lot. I will make them eat a few bites if I know they are needing it, but I don't force any finishing of plates or anything!

Good luck! This parenting thing is hard!

 

Unless it's one of his favorites, Jackson has started only eating dinner when you have no opinion about whether or not he does it. It's part of his "new attitude" (envision the song... ). He eats fine for all other meals. I think dinner is an easy target because they might be pretty full by that time? Just guessing. This is the age when eating starts to slow down, so it's not abnormal. And no, he won't starve!

 

Too funny! My picky eater Truman also eats way better if I act like I could care less whether he eats it or not!

 

I wonder if you gave them an afternoon snack if that would actually help? Mine get three meals and three snacks a day. Really it is like six small meals (except for breakfast when they tend to eat a lot) and it seems to go better. Knowing that they have had a few healthy snacks makes me feel better if they don't eat much dinner.