How is the Sibling Dealing?.....

My daughter is having THEE hardest time dealing with the twins coming.

She stays up all night crying (with no tears) last night my husband and I thought we already had the twins.

She screamed through the whole night at the top of her voice.

I dont know how to calm her down.

What can I do?

I looked in her mouth to see if she is getting her two year old molars and I gave her some Mortin. But nothing calmed her down as usual.

I song to her, he held her in the famous sleep position, we walked her around. But lately she has been a mess of a little one.

I talk to her about the babies she comes to all the appt with me.

I spend daughter and mommy time with her.

I dont know what other options I have before the babies come.

Is anyone else children going through the "syndrome" as I will call it?

Thanks

Frances

 

At not quite 2 it might not even be about the twins -- perhaps it's just night terrors?

You've still got 2 months or so before the babies get here, and that's a long time for a two year old to process. Could she be getting twin overload? Maybe if you don't talk about the twins for awhile, get someone else to watch her while you go to your appointments, etc, she'll calm down. Then when the birth is closer bring out the books about being a big sister...

 

I'm also thinking this might not be about the twins - she's still pretty little to even begin to understand what's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if she is getting sick or something. It seems like, even without having twins on the way, kids go through weird periods where they are difficult for no good reason, and then they are easy again. I know my son will have a week or so where he is a total pill, and then he's back to himself for a couple of months.

 

momma big hugs to you. I sooo relate. Even before my recent bout of labor and now bedrest (still in hospital waiting for DD to come in the next 30 minutes) her behavior has REALLY ramped up in the last two months. She is also 22 months now and seems to have some adjusting going on. I wonder--is it twins--is it her age? Does she sense the change? Am I keeping to her routines? Any combination of the above is possible.

Where you are at right now, I agree with PP I would leave her at home for dr visits and not stress the twintalk too much. There was a point where I realized my daughter did not always need to hear about it and why take her to dr. visits when you can (hopefully) have her doing something more fun with a nanny, helper, etc. I know sometimes you have no choice, but i think if you can give her more kid-centered time that might benefit her. She is very much in a "me" stage and does not have the ability to accomodate her pregnant momma who is giving her a huge gift but one that she cannot even conceive of at this moment. Hang in there! I do feel your pain...

 

I understand what many are saying but since I have no family or friends to take her for my appt she is definitely going just like her brother.

I talked to my mom and she said I did the same thing when she was pregnant with my sister. So I think she has a case of "mom I am like you" thing. My mom said that is how she knew that she was going to have my sister early.

But thanks for the comments

 

if it is the twins you could try going to target and buying her twin babies and letting her know that the babies are hers and try not to keep her from interacting with them. teach her how to hold the babies using a baby doll and you should be okay. if you use this time to teach her how to behave around the babies it shouldnt be much of an impact when they do come. good luck.

 

I agree with everyone. Two years is a tricky age. I too have a two year old (23 months) and am wondering how she is going to respond. I would lean toward the advice to let it go for a while and focus all your attention (as much as you can) on her and her world. She may be picking up on the fact that her world is changing, and may not want to share the spot light. Have her be your big helper, and just spend time building her up. Really try to focus on positive reinforcement. The baby doll idea is also great, it may help you gage her feelings about the twins and babies in general. But try not to focus on directly coresponding the doll to the twins. Hang in there, it can be hard to know why two year olds do what they do sometimes. :hug:

 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation, I think every mom who is prego with twins and already has one baby worries about this happening, and probabably it happens more or less 99 % of the time. My son is 3 and so far quite positive to the babies coming, but I fear when they get here that will be another story all together. Perhaps she is going through her anxiety about the arrival of new babies in the house now and will skip anthing major once they get there.
I had bought some twin story books for my son and we have read them every once in awhile and that seemed to help him understand. I have also talked a lot about how he has to help me once the babies get here, I put him on binky duty!! I told him when they cry or the binkies fall out he has to put them in. The great think that happened was his cousin just got a little sister 3 months ago and everytime we are there is is watching for an opportunity to put her binki in. I think the doll thing is a great idea, you could practice putting diapers on it and putting it to sleep.
I hope that things get better, I'm sure that she will be fine and get over it, I think we moms are hardest on ourselves, and we tend to drink our guilt like morning coffee. You guys will work it out! Cheers mom let us know how things go?