what do you call your private parts?

Ok.... so my little boy said that daddy and him has a pee pee and mommy and his sister doen't. He pointed at his sister last night and said that she has a front bum bum. LOL!!! Anyway, I have no idea what to call her private parts. I was listening to Oprah and the Dr. who was been interviewed said to call it a vulva... my husband almost died when I told him that we should call it that. He doesn't want her saying that yet. So, what do you tell a 2 1/2 year old to call it?

 

We call them their real names (penis, vagina, etc.) or in general "privates".

 

Same here. Ella was confused for a long time and called both her front and back her "butt" so we had to start using the real names.

 

We use the real names too, and use bottom for, well the bottom. DS calls his penis his "peanuts" but I think that is just because he has a hard time with pronunciation a lot of the time. He knows the right name, it just comes out as peanuts. I think it's cute though...

I'm all for using the right names, even though it drives my MIL insane!!! well, that's a little bit of a bonus!

 

Real names. It's much easier for teachers, doctors and other professionals (in a worst-case scenario, should it be necessary) if children know the proper names. And don't worry, boys delight in coming up with creative euphemisms as they get older.

You have to remember: adults are sensitized to these words, children aren't. Children don't read anything into them, any more than they read something into "nose" or "finger." If you don't act all goofy and embarrassed about it, they won't either.

 

Penis and vagina. I know there are purists against "vagina" because the parts you see outside are vulva, labia, whatever, but "vagina" is my shortcut.

Ditto what Ruby said - these are just words. My kids use them all the time with no self-consciousness whatsoever.

 

I'm the odd one out on this. I'm very old school and this and don't feel bad for it in the least. At this age we call them private parts, for a boy or girl. And when they are a little older I tell them that God made boys and girls differently. My 7 year old just asked what his was called and THEN I told him the tecnical name. We use "potty" for going to the bathroom when they are little and recently just changed our habits so the big boys wouldn't be embarrassed. But the need only just arose. And of course they didn't come to me embarrassed already, I changed it first and then told them why. I find age appropriate terms just fine.

 

Mine, too. In general we say "your pee-pee" but they do know the correct names. I keep forgetting to do it, but I did hear that by calling them "privates" (as well as kids knowing the correct terms) you can instill in them that those are private parts and no one but certain people should be seeing or touching them (helping wipe after going to the bathroom for example).

 

We've use correct terms from the start. Someone on the boards explained it something like this and I wholeheartedly agree: if, for some horrible reason, someone touched them inappropriately, their communication with the authorities will not only be more clear, they will be taken more seriously if correct terms are used. I'm sold. My husband is not on board and uses the slang terms though he's not upset with me for using correct terms... and the kids aren't confused by this although they think he's a bit silly since he "says it wrong". And yeah, penis and peanuts sounded the same here for a while but they both sounded like penis. It was a bit embarrassing to have them ask loudly at the store if we need any penis butter.

 

Proper terms here.

There is absolutely nothing to hide or be embarrassed about. My children are taught that they are just another part of their body.

 

I'm the other oddball - we've always called Ian's a winky (although he's now calling it a wiener - thanks to daycare I think) and Abby started calling hers a nudie...and I'm ok with it...I don't reside in a paranoid world where I'm going to worry if they ever have to tell a cop that someone touched their penis or vulva...I don't think Penis and Vagina should be coming out of a 3 year old - but thats just me...(not to mention my 82 year old grandmother would pass out from shame!)

 

I agree....call them the correct names. Well, sort of, I say penis and vagina. Although, like pp pointed out, the outside is not really the vagina.

I have friend whose daughter recently started asking questions and she uses the word vulva. I don't know why, but I am just more comfortable calling it a vagina. However, we are not there yet...so I guess it could all change when the time comes?!?

 

I don't live in fear of that either, but what is wrong with the words? They aren't bad, they aren't dirty. They are just normal parts of a body.

 

Vagina and Penis (aka Schmekel)

 

We use Vagina and Penis as well. I definitely don't want them uncomfortable with the words. Just another part of the body in my opinion

 

I hope your kids and all kids will never be in that situation. But the truth is, it happens. Paranoia is losing sleep over it every night and being absurdly overprotective. Preparedness is teaching your kids proper names, so that if, heaven forbid, the worst happens, they'll have a better shot at being heard. Two different things, and it's a little insulting to confuse the one with the other, as if the whole "p/v" crowd were a bunch of paranoid loonies.

Also, ditto Callen - where's the shame? What's dirty about those words? What makes you disgusted at the idea of your kids using them?

Another question that comes to mind: if the words gross you out like that, how do you feel when your kids touch themselves there? If it doesn't gross you out when they touch their penis or vagina, why would it gross you out for them to use the words penis and vagina?

(Serious questions, btw.)

On another note - on the "telling the authorities" front, I'm worried for Andrew right now! Whenever he grabs the whole package, not just his penis, he calls it his "belly." I've been trying to help him sort that one out, but so far no luck! :lol:

 

Thanks! I'm going to make my husband read this so that he can agree on calling it by the correct names. Vagina and Penis is what we'll call it!!!

 

We generally call them girl or boy parts, but they know the correct names as well to avoid any confusion on their end when they go to the doctor and such. We sorta just tell them all the names of something when they ask and let them pick what word they life. We started out calling them boy/girl parts when they were very small since my MIL was here helping often and I didn't want to embarrass her. I agree that they are just names and it's important for them to know the correct names, but I don't see any harm in being polite and thoughtful towards others' boundaries and comfort levels (so therefore they know both the vague and correct names), especially where family is involved. To each their own, though ;-)

 

Penis butter!! :rofl: How funny!!!

 

Vagina and Penis is what we call our private parts.

 

Paranoid loonies - no but thats the largest arguement I've heard about teaching them the proper names so that the cops will understand if it ever happens - I just don't happen to subscribe to it....

and why the push to teach them proper terms? do you call their gluetus maximus that or do you call it a butt or bum? do you call their cute little baby toes, toes or do you call them metatarsals? I just don't think that penis and vagina or vulva or whatever you call it is attractive coming out of a child - hell I don't even use those terms unless I'm speaking to my doctor - my parents don't use them, my IL's don't etc...I just would like to keep them innocent, and winky and nudie are just that - not clinical - and it has nothing to do with shame or disgust...

 

I only have boys & they have "winkies". When they're older & start asking more about it, I will have no problem explaining to them the proper names. When they ask where MY winky is, I just say Mommy doesn't have one. As pp said, I KNOW the words aren't dirty (I'm a nurse & use them frequently), but I just don't feel as comfortable using them in my personal life.

As a kid, I used "crotch" for mine, but don't recall what I called a boy's.

I think the BEST nickname yet is my cousin's daughter. My stepside of the family calls all the girl's parts "Tu Tu's". My cousin also wanted her daughter to know the proper names, so now Bria calls it a "Tu Tu Gina". It's hilarious hearing her say that....

 

A different point of view here. My parents taught me a cutsie name for vagina. Now as an adult I am utterly ashamed of what they taught me. It may have sounded cute or funny coming from a small child, but in retrospect it's humiliating. I can't believe my parents thought that this cutsie name was better than the real, proper name. I sooo wish that they had used the proper name.

So my boys have a penis and testicles. I will never teach them whilly, peepee, thinger, etc.

My G-d, this thread brings up a mix of emotions in me. What were my parents thinking? From an adult perspective, it's truly disturbing.

 

It's not the same, though. If you say "toes", EVERYONE knows what you mean. "Nudie" to me means a naked person. If a child told me someone showed her a nudie, I'd think she was talking about a porn magazine. Same deal with "winky" -- it's one eye closing, right? There is no confusion with toes nor is there any confusion with penis because those aren't terms used for other things. And sure, there are some slang terms that are more likely to be understood than your examples but since there are soooo many and the preferred slang term varies by family/region/whatever, you don't have universal understanding. That's what the push is about -- to promote understanding. Whether you want to think about ever needing your child to be understood or not, it's definitely more helpful if they are, right?

 

As a former biologist, I just can't call it a vagina as it's not. So we have crotch, penis and bottom here.

As a current psychologist, we use anatomically correct dolls. As do the police. Whatever terms the kids are comfortable using we ask them to show us where they mean. We can work with any names, but I suspect I may be MORE confused if a kid were to use the term 'vagina', which sounds as if they know what they're talking about, when they are actually referring to their crotch / vulva / pudenda. If a kid said to me 'vagina' I would assume they mean the inside.

Whilst completely one-off names are harder to work out, most police / teachers etc would know what the common slang terms are (like 'privates' 'winky' 'hoochy') so I wouldn't worry too much if those are the names your kids use. Later on, when the kids are older and start asking, you can give them biological terms if you haven't already.

Also it strikes me that really the main thing is that you are very very comfortable with whatever term you use. Because while, fortunately, child abuse is relatively rare, you'll use the term you choose a lot (let me wipe your crotch? does your bottom hurt? etc), sometimes in public, and it's important that you don't convey shame or embarrassment when you use those terms, otherwise your kids will learn that from you (and may be even less likely to tell you if someone has touched them there).

Just my 10c worth

 

THIS!! Thank you, li li! I was struggling to figure out why I come down on the other side from people here I respect so much, and this is it. That hesitation when I say "penis" - the involuntary leftover giggle - is what keeps me from using that term most of the time. I say "winky" when we're being playful (eg. when they grab it while I'm changing a diaper), which allows me to laugh with them and talk openly about what they're doing. It is my own hang up that I can't have the same conversation about their "penises". And in reverse, I taught them that milk comes from my breasts because I have always hated "boobies" (though someone taught them that word...I have no idea who).

We called our privates our "po po" and my sister, seeing my Dad peeing once, said, "Daddy has a pull-out po po!"

 

This was a great explanation. Having dealt with small children and sex crimes in the past, I never had an issue or difficulty with the names for "private parts" that children used. When dealing with a professional in this area, I believe you know what they are saying and you use the right questions, dolls, examinations, and circumstances to put it all together, just as you would had the child used the proper anatomical name.