Want More Babies(y)

I have 10 month twin girls; they are my first children. They are great babies. I knew that I wanted another baby shortly after I brought the girls home. Everyone says that I am crazy. Am I crazy? If not, when would be a good time to start trying again? FYI- I have to go through IVF- twins a possibilty. Also, with IVF I am not suppose to lift over 10 pounds for awhile.

 

Well there are pluses & minuses to having them close together or farther apart. You have to weigh them out & decide what's best for you & your family. I had my first 3 close together & wouldn't change it for anything! But there are definite advantages to the amount of time & attention I have been able to give the twins with the other kids being older (not that I'm recommending you wait that long!). The lifting thing could be a problem with having little ones, so I might consider waiting until they are between 2 & 3 if I were you. But no, you aren't crazy!

 

Not crazy at all, I've been trying to talk DH into TTC since the babies were 5 months old, I think we've decided on October so the twins will be 10 months old then. I think the pros outweigh the cons of having them closer together

 

You are not crazy. We are planning on trying again but are going to wait closer to their first birthday. We discussed having three - the bonus was we had twins to start. :good:

 

I have been wondering the same thing. We had to do IVF and we have one little baby frozen waiting for us...so weird to think about! Well...I don't know WHAT to do about when to try, because I was on bedrest for MONTHS with preterm contractions. I had a terbutaline pump that tried to keep them under control. I never had cervical change though, thank God. My Peri doesn't seem to think that it definitely means I'm at risk again...as it was a twin pregnancy and he's seen many moms go on to have no problems with the second pregnancy. Looks like the only way I"d have twins again is if it split. My DH and I want to prevent pregnancy until we can give this little one a chance. Then if it doesn't happen... we won't prevent for a while. But we are REALLY wanting to make sure we try the frozen one first. Any advice from you moms that may have had a complicated pregnancy first...and then wanted to try again. I'm scared that I won't be able to care for the girls!

 

I've been trying to talk DH into having just "one" more but we know twins are a real possibility (REALLY run in my family) and we're thinking maybe a year from now when the boys will be turning 3. At least then they can go to preschool and I can sleep a little bit more during the day. I have been fighting the baby urges since the boys learned to sit up though! You're not crazy at all!

 

We did IVF as well, and we have two frozen. Initially we thought about putting 2 in again (DH says those are our 2 girls :wub: ), but after I thought about the fact that these guys came early (9 weeks), I don't want to do that to another baby(ies). So we recently decided to do one at a time. Hubby wants to do it now, but we decided to wait a year, so they would be about 18 months. We probably would have only waited till they were a year old, but we are about to move out of state for a year and want to wait until we come back. I don't know that they could transfer frozen embryos out of state. LOL It is a weird feeling with IVF. I am sure you ladies who did it can relate. We wanted them for so long and we had no control, but now that it was successful, it feels weird to be able to control when we can have more. It is kind of exciting! I just have to make myself realize that just because we can go do it again, doesn't mean we need to rush into it. I think it is a personal choice of what is right for you and your family. You are not crazy. There is no right or wrong answer as to when, it is up to you. =)

 

You're definitely not crazy. I've been saying I want more babies for a few months now and our first daughters just turned 9 months old. My logical side says to wait until they are a little older (maybe a year and a half) but my heart wants to start trying tomorrow!

Good luck with whatever you decide :good:

 

My boys are almost 8 months old and I feel the same way. We started out with 12 embroys, put in two one took and then I had a miscarriage. Then we thawed out 5, three made it and we tranfered them and 2 took hence the twins. Now we have 5 frozen and it is so weird to think that we could have 5 more kids or non of them could take. I wonder every day how many kids we will end up having. I never really thought much about the frozen embroys until the day I brought the boys home. Then it really hit me that those are my kids and they all deserve a fair chance. I always thought that I would be comfortable donating them if I had a lot left over, but now my feelings have totally changed and I think of it as more as adoption and not as simple of an idea as I once thought.(not that I think donating them is a bad idea I would definately do that if I didn't have the means to do another FET, like if my husband died or something serious came up, there is just more emotions behind it now that I have the boys). For me though my infertilty was caused by my endometriosis which I had removed by an endo doctor. I know at any point there is a chance that it could come back which will effect their ability to implant as well as my miscarriage rate will go up. I really want to breastfeed the boys for a 1 1/2. and I worry about having to take care of them while I am pregnant. But also I do not have time on my side because of my endometriosis. The surgery was very expensive and I want to aviod having another one. Also there is only so many c-sections I can have too. So I have no idea what to do. I'm not sure how many I have to implant since I think some might be frozen in groups of two. We will probably try next fall is my guess, but I feel bad about weaning the boys if they still want to breastfeed at that time. It is such a hard thing to decided. I think having infertitlity and having a miscarriage takes the innocence out of a pregnancy and you constantly worry and want to take it easy. I just do not know how I will do that with taking care of two already, plus if I have another twin pregnancy. I do not know what the answer, but you are definately not crazy.

 

I dont think you are crazy, but I would wait. Chasing around tantruming, twin toddlers while pregnant is a whole different ballgame.

 

I would say wait until your twins are 2yo. and try. we wait until our first turn out 3 and start another ivf cycle. I want them ( kids) be 3years apart.
but I didn't even think that it took us 10 months and 5 ivfs to get pregnant and that we end up with twins.
so advice don't wait too long, and give your twins time to hold them and play with them more, ( remember during pregnancy you will be too tired to play with them)

 

So... I'm still pregnant with my twins (33 weeks 1 day). They're di/di boys and when I found out at 20 weeks that they are boys, I knew I was in trouble. I really want a girl. I've never been the type to feel this way nor did I believe you should have kids for one gender, but a part of me knows not to throw out the pregnancy clothes b/c I want to dress somebody up in dresses. DH says I can do this with the boys, but somehow, this is not the same! :rofl:

I don't think you are crazy. I don't want to have the boys and be pregnant in '09 or in '10, but you never know. We didn't plan these kids (were using birth control) so you never know what the future holds. A woman I met recently had 18 month olds & was 7 mos pregnant again with twins.

I would like to try to be pregnant with 1 kid, though. I feel a bit (love the twins) like I got cheated with being pregnant the first time, high-risk, extra morning sickness, gi-normous growth by the 2nd trimester, worries in the 3rd of premature labor + not being able to do pretty much anything from week 31 on, physically. I would like a "normal", carefree pregnancy, if that exists.


Michelle

 

I can relate to this Michelle. It would be really nice to experiance having just one baby at a time. We had to have IVF and have 5 little frosties waiting for us so i am pretty sure that one day i will want to get the twins a little sibling to squabble over. Right now it is not an option, i am dealing with PND and I'm only just starting to feel myself again so the thought of having to go through all that again tells me to wait a while. Saying that i am very broody for a boy! It was just a few months back i swore i would never have anymore kids and asked df to shoot me if i mentioned it again.. now you have got me thinking, would it be so bad? Your not crazy to want a family honey, if you are then i think we are all abit :wacko:

 

I've seen SOO many folks have the baby itch in the first year... then when the 2nd yr comes they are like "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" I'd give it some time to see how you feel when they're mobile and fussing at you all day long. It's REALLY different. I seriously cannot imagine having another one right now OR being pregnant. I'm EXHAUSTED EXHAUSTED EXHAUSTED right now and they are 22 months old. I have never been soo busy IN MY LIFE. It's no joke!

Just wanted to lend that piece to you folks.. there's no harm in waiting. i have endo too and if I EVER wanted to get pregnant, I'd not be worried about that.

Good luck in whatever you decide and I think your feelings are normal RIGHT NOW but as time goes on.. you might change your mind. The 2nd year is seriously truly MUCH more work than the first

Hugs.

 

I don't think you are crazy. I don't want to have the boys and be pregnant in '09 or in '10, but you never know. We didn't plan these kids (were using birth control) so you never know what the future holds. A woman I met recently had 18 month olds & was 7 mos pregnant again with twins.

I would like to try to be pregnant with 1 kid, though. I feel a bit (love the twins) like I got cheated with being pregnant the first time, high-risk, extra morning sickness, gi-normous growth by the 2nd trimester, worries in the 3rd of premature labor + not being able to do pretty much anything from week 31 on, physically. I would like a "normal", carefree pregnancy, if that exists.


Michelle
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OMG! I am sooooooooo scared that would be me!!! I wanted just one child ever...a little girl to spoil to death and that never happend!! lol Right off the bat, pregnant with TWINS...and they are both BOYS! ugh!! lol I know I must sound so ungreatful but I too feel like I got cheated by having twins the first time. I still feel cheated like I cant fully enjoy them bc I am so busy taking care of them that I never get that one on one quality time to help them grow. I feel like I just get throught the day, make sure they are fed, clean and safe.... When one is doing something new and exciting it's like awww! thats great!.....now where did the other one go! I would love to have ONE more little GIRL but I am so afraid of having twins again. I couldn't imagine. God bless the lady with 2 sets of twins. I do ultrasounds for a career and I have had a few women that have had 2 sets of twins as well. That scares me to death!

 

WHAT WAS I THINKING ??? Seriously ! I love love love my little baby girl (4 months old) but it really is sooooooo hard. It wasn't until I was pg before I said "how will I get around ?, what kind of stroller will I need?" "what kind of car will we have ?" I think it was just starting to get easier and I KnEW them, they were sleeping great and I just wanted to collect them. It was so hard being pg and still carrying around the girls, up to bed, into the carseat, out of the carseat and doing it all times two. Twin pg is really hard but I was able to rest if I needed to, with toddlers and being pg you can't rest. I have a unique stroller (sorry from New Zealand) and I can actually get around easy with it.

I haven't been to the mall alone with all three because the baby is only NOW starting to sleep in the stroller. Before she had to be held. The girls are wanting to go to the playground and two toddlers going in two different directions and a baby in a stroller doesn't work. I have worked really hard to find playgrounds that are fenced, activities that are contained and luckily daycare one day a week. This is the only way I feel like I have some independence. Otherwise I HAVE TO have someone with me to go somewhere. I'm brave but not that brave. It is hard to push a stroller while you hold a baby even if they are in a carrier. Holidays means 3 pack n plays for us. We were just getting to the point where we could walk them into a restaurant and put them in a high chair.

Our car has three carseats in the back. I have a baby that sleeps 6 pm until 3 am most nights and two toddlers that sleep 12 hours a night. Even with these fairly well behaved toddlers .... I am FULL-ON busy after I put them to bed. I feel like someone turned up the volume on my life.

Ok sorry for the downer. I love my little girl and she is just the cutest. If I didn't have 3 days a week where I can go to myself and the one day with the girls at daycare, I think mentally I'd be not as happy as I am. I just didnt' think of soooo many things when I "wanted to have another". When they really start to get into things it gets harder and harder because you can leave them for longor they get into things. Now with a baby you need to have a safe place for the baby.

I'm sure I will get everything figured out, and then want more..... hopefully someone will have some good advice for me.

Heather

 

Agreed. Was just going to say the same thing.
I saw a lot of friends with singletons getting pg again when their LO was 11-12 mos and now I have seen the results. Newborn plus terrible twos = chaos. One of them even said "what was I thinking??" It is totally natural to start thinking about getting pg again towards the end of the first year. That is the best time. Fussiness is over, sleep is going pretty well, but mobility is limited and tantrums have yet to rear their ugly faces. We spoke about trying again when the girls were close to 18 mos. Here we are at 20 mos.....My girls have never been more fun but have also never been more work. If you have lots of help, I'd go for it, but if you are doing this on your own I'd wait till your kids are closer to two for two reasons - Better reasoning and communication skills. Our current plan is to try for a 2.5-3 yr age difference. What ever you decide will work out fine - because you have no choice but to make it work - and what may be difficult at one point might be much easier later on.

 

WELL! I am in the thick of it now-that's for sure! You can go to the SY forum and read my rant(s)! LOL! I too did IVF-4 IVF's later-the boys came around. Having it take that long(which isn't for some people), dh and I agreed we would try again when the boys were one. We were doing FET's, as we had 10 frozen embryos! I had done them previously(2), but those were day 3 embryos, and what we had from this fresh cycle was day 6 blasts. I honestly didn't think it would work the first try-but it did! We decided one to transfer at a time. And IF we had to go to a 3rd transfer, provided #1 and #2 didn't work, and we had the embryos, we were going to transfer 2. And I'll be honest-at that first u/s, I was secretly hoping for twins. And let me tell you now...I'm thankful it was only one-although she is a true gem!

It can definitely be trying-my boys will be 22 months in a week. They were a week shy of 20 months when Annabella was born. I can write you a novel, but if you want to know the in's and out's as I live through them-feel free to PM me. I don't mind. In fact-a few people have. I like to write!

I will say this-I wouldn't change it for the world! As hard as some days are, deep down I know it's a short phase. And to see my boys TOTALLY in love with their sister-melts your heart. And all the blood, sweat, and tears that I shed-it's so worth it. One day at a time...

 

I have to go through progesterone meds and clomid to get pregnant. We went ahead and planned it out to start meds when my dd was 8 months old. Didn't really think/believe I would have twins this last time and was pleasantly surprised at our second u/s to see two. Mine are 17 months apart and it's been great for us. I had pre-e with both pregnancies, and was at home on bedrest with both pregnancies and I managed to do it all and keep myself and the babies safe until 37 weeks 5 days, it is possible. Only you and your husband can decide when the right time is. What might be the right time for someone else is not necessarily for you.

 

Thank you for your post! I thought I was the only crazy one! My boys are 10 months old too. We would have to go through a frozen embryo transfer and all the medications leading up to it. Infertility is such a drag. I wish we could have babies the fun, easy, cheap way... I was told that I could not be breastfeeding and be on the medications so I'm planning on weaning them at a year. I'm a little terrified about having more, especially the possibility of having twins again, being in the NICU again, and how to manage them all! We have an appointment at the beginning of September to speak with our infertility doctor. My husband feels that since we're not getting younger, we should go ahead and try as soon as possible. It may take several cycles (10+ weeks/cycle).

 

From my experience with my singleton DS, there's a big lull from 9-15 months where your baby is in a comparatively easy stage -- the routine is well established, you've gotten to know the personality well, and know what works. It's really tempting at this point to go for another baby. Then around 18 months things start getting harder again as you start to enter the terrible two's, with all kinds of new challenges with pushing boundaries and getting into trouble. It starts getting easier again around 30 months, easier again by 36 months, and you're in a groove again by 4 years.

From observing the other mothers in my playgroup, the ones who had singleton babies 18 months apart had the toughest time, and 24 months apart was still pretty difficult. The ones who had them 36 months apart had a much much easier time of it, and I am actually grateful that my son will be 4 years old when our twins a born. So I wouldn't recommend going for another one when your twins are 10 months old!

 

O, I can relate lol! We have 5 and I really want one more! Jim says no though and "took care of it". Our youngst 4 are within 3 years of eachother. Not that we planned it that way, it just happened. It can be a bit more work, and there are those "days", but I love my family.