Am i doing something wrong?

Hi everyone,

I feel a bit low today and quite honestly, i feel like a crap mother as i feel i should have everything under control, but i don't. The twinkles are sleeping so well at night, which I am really grateful for, they only wake once around 1am after we put them down at 6ish and wake around 6am. But during the day,they are all over the place, and i feel i am causing them unhappiness, they don't smile yet and i feel it is because they aren't happy. And then i feel guilty because i sometimes have to leave one cry a bit while i tend to the other or help one of my older boys. I just feel inadequate, and i am also worn out, because they don't fall asleep on their own yet and i have to pick them up one by one and rock-cuddle-read them to sleep, which can take a while, they like their bouncies but not for too long, same with their stroller. Plus the guilt towards my older children as i can't do much with them as i'm tending to the babies, in fairness, they are great and play very nicely and well together and "help" with the babies, but i just wish i could do more. I usually feel great but today, i really feel like this .

On a different note, i breastfeed the twins exclusively, but A's BM are dark coloured whereas C's BM are normal yellowish. Now A is taking iron supplements, could this be the explaination, i mean, they are obviously both getting the same food , any thoughts?

Thanks in advance

Charlie

 

:hug: You are by no means a bad mom or failing them!! You're doing a fantastic job!! This is such a rough age that you litereally do what you have to to survive. They'll smile soon enough, I promise! The fact that you're bf exc for both :clapping: :bow2:
Even though they are sleeping great doesn't mean that you don't have every right to be exhausted!
You're not alone, we've all left a twin screaming to care for the other, it's just the way it goes. They will be fine and they won't remember
:grouphug: I know it's tough but you're doing great and bad days come with the territory, I hope tomorrow is better!

 

:hug: You're doing such a great job!! It is so hard in the beginning, but give it time. The first three months were crazy for me and mine started sleeping 6+ hour stretches at night by 2 months, too. I was still tired from waking once and just from the amount of energy it took to take care of them both all day. It's tough to find the time to eat enough to keep your own energy up when you're nursing twins! There were definitely times when I couldn't comfort both at once so I just started singing a lot and making all kinds of silly faces and sounds to try to entertain the one I wasn't holding. It gets so much better once they start learning how to roll and move around a bit. I think the first three months were the hardest and then by the time they were 4 months it became so much fun. They started smiling, giggling, and really interacting. Hang in there - they'll get there! I had a hard enough time just with two - :bow2: can't imagine having older kids to care for as well.

To answer your other question, mine were EBF and often had different color poop. I always thought it was so interesting to see how two different babies processed the same food ardon: I know iron can change things, too, so I don't think you need to worry as long as it's still "normal" (not bloody or anything). BF babies poop is a crazy thing, as I'm sure you know from your older children. The color changes are pretty common.

 

:hug:
You are doing a great job! Alas, guilt is just part of motherhood... not necessarily being a twin mom...
I used to feel bad about not getting to do as much with my older child until my mother pointed out to me that I was really giving her a gift of not becoming self-centered...

and think what fun it will be when the twins are old enough to go to a park and be pushed in the swings... this is not time for the older kids... they have had much of their time - great undivided attention time! Now it is time for the newborn twins... to everything it's season.

And yes, it is crushing to have to let one cry when you attend to the other or an older child... I am alone every night and every night they both end up crying - I am so confused right now how to but them to bed solo, but we will make it through and I just keep telling myself that the crying is temporary and then their needs will be met... And I come here and post and realize that I am not alone and that it is the nature of raising multiples...
I think the twins will have the gift of learning patience and empathy as they share in growing up at the same time...
Don't worry, just love them and do your best!

 

You are doing a fantastic job. Having twin babies is so difficult in the first few months, you do whatever you have to do to survive. You are not alone & can turn to any of us for support at any time. We've all been there. :hug: That being said, if you feel like you may be experiencing a bit of postpartum depression, you should talk to your doctor. PPD can make everything even more difficult than it is already, and there are effective treatments out there. Many, many hugs to you. :hug: Hang in there!

As for the poop, yep, that would be the iron supplement. Iron will tend to make their poop darker, sometimes with a greenish color.

 

:hug: We have alll been there. Mine were STTN at 7-8 weeks and so they were sleeping wonderfully at night but I felt the same way during the day. It was never any sort of routine or any sort of pattern. Mine didn't smile early either for a while. i don't think i was getting smiles til 9 weeks and when we did get them it was to other people!! Do what works for now and belive me they will fall in to a routine somewhat eventually. You are doing wonderfully and with 2 other kiddos as well. People with other kids in addtion to twinfants amaze me. WTG momma, and hang in there, it does get better!!

 

You are doing great! For me - that age was one of the hardest. I felt like they were too young to really be entertained, but yet I felt like I wasn't doing enough to "play" with them or entertain them or something. It was difficult. Plus they were eating quite often still, and I was pumping, and my 2.5 year old daughter was still getting used to having twin brothers home. I was a little bit of a wreck.

But - it got better. It got so much better. Within a month they were sleeping through the night, and I was getting a handle on having 3 children. And today I can look back at that time and smile, and have fond memories of cuddling my little tiny guys.

Keep up the good work!!!

 

What a great post. We are our worst critics by far so hold on to this perspective! Even the things we think we are doing "wrong" will be valuable lessons in ways we don't comprehend at this point in their lives.

Eve

Eve

 

Thank you all so much for your replies, it's amazing to know i am not alone in feeling this way sometimes
Am feeling much better today and ready for anything...well within reason!!
I also think they might be teething, it's early but they sure have all the tell-tell signs
Coulld any of you give me your best tips for getting the babies to fall asleep on their own? They sleep in the crib, they have never slept in the bouncies, swing and sometimes in the stroller.

Thank you all again so much

 

You are doing a great job!!! At 2 months, my girls' naps were completely all over the place. Some days they still are, and they are 7 months old now! I always tell myself that I'd rather have them sleep great at night and have nap sleeping consistency be second in priorty as far as sleep is concerned. So, it sounds like you're doing a great job with them sleeping at night!

And my girls have ALWAYS had different BMs. They eat exactly the same thing, like yours, but they are always different in color, timing, and otherwise.

Hang in there! You are doing just great!!