Is Karp full 'o Krap?

So, I've been reading some different books to try to come up with some ways to deal with my "explosive" one and sometimes her side-kick. I watched the Happiest Toddler on the Block DVD, but didn't read the book because I'm sort-of parenting book-ed out right now. But, my friend who has twins is reading the book and recommended it (to be fair, hers aren't yet a year).

This Toddler-ese thing perplexes me. I tried it a few times and maybe I'm doing it wrong, but it seemed to escalate the problem as if I was patronizing her. Plus, I think it reinforces her tantrum when I join in and mimic her. Her sister thought it was down right hilarious and suggested I take it on the road, but the one throwing the tantrums (who shall remain nameless, but can be seen being absolutely yummy in my avi) just got more angry. Did this method work eventually after having no success at first for anyone?

 

I have the dvd, but haven't watched yet... got it last fall when I went to a seminar of his in person... it was interesting to say the least, though I haven't yet had to try it out yet... thankfully ours aren't throwing tantrums... (yet)... sorry that its not working... if you've only read the book, maybe it'd be good to see if you can get a copy of the dvd/video...

 

I have not tried this yet Liesel, but big :hug: to you...my DS throws tantrums quite a bit and it makes me :crazy: Maybe your little one is on to Karp's methods already! By the way, your avi is cute!

 

I've read the 1-2-3 magic book (even though it doesn't work until about 2)and it's chalk full of common sense. I started to use some of the techniques now and its working for even my 14 mo olds. If you havent already, I would give it a read. It's more about training you and how you react to them and their behavior.

 

Did not read the book, only watched the DVD.

 

I tried doing the imitating thing once and it didn't work with my ds (who, around here, is the big trantrum thrower :grr: <---he looks something like this) and it got him to cry even more. :huh: I've not read the book or watched the DVD, I just did it because I had enough and wanted him to hear what I was hearing. :blush: It was a no go for us. :hug: Ignoring him was the only thing that made his tantrums go down alot or shorten. :good:

 

I was going to watch the DVD if my library has it, but I'm not sure after reading your experience. I can't imagine mimicking them. I usually try to put into words their feelings and encourage them to use their words instead of tantrum. But when that doesn't work, I tell them they have to go calm down and then we'll talk about it.

BTW, Love you avi Liesel.

 

I have read the book and do follow some of the principles, and it seems to work with mine. I don"t quite do the mimicking to the same degree as he suggests, but I have found that communication and talking with my kiddos is KEY. I never understood how important it was to at least tell them (in simple, cave-man language) what is going on and why they can/can not do the thing they want to do/have. But I don't use the stomping my feet or screaming like they do. Usually I can get things calmed down by saying something like "evan is mad he can't have the toy", " I know you are mad, but we have to wait for your turn". THis works for me 9 times out of 10. And, when it doesn't work I do just tell them "you can cry, but you aren't playing with that toy until its your turn", and then I let them cry, it usually doesn't last for more then about 30 seconds.
Good luck!

 

ahhhhh... if read your whole text I'd have seen you clearly said you watched the dvd! whoops!

hope you find something that works for you. tantrums don't seem like fun. I like the pp's suggestion of the simple languate w/o the extra antics...

 

I read it and it doesn't work here.
The book
Easy to Love, Hard to Discipline works MUCH better!

 

I skim all the time!

I'll try that one. I haven't read that yet.

 

There is a book that says to do that? :lol: I thought it was just me at my wits end, acting crazily right along with them. ardon: Glad to know that there is a theory, supported by a doctor, behind my madness. Thanks Liesel. :bow2:

 

I read the book only and it was a painful read for me. I do have a friend here who read it and didn't like it in the beginning but now says she has used the techniques sometimes with good results. I think the basic concept is to tell them what they are feeling "mad, sad, hurt" and what they wanted to do "play with a toy, go to the park, etc." So reflecting their feelings. In short easy terminology that they understand. I do think the book could have been written better to reflect this concept. It takes forever to get to the "good stuff" and the good stuff was not in simple enough terms. I think most parents just need some sample statements to say during tantrum incidences. Maybe I will start a new thread to get some ideas...


Heather

 

Liesel, as you know I have a 'timebomb' (yes, she upgraded from a 'firecracker') as well, I read the Happiest Toddler book and the only thing I got from it was that they are like little cavemen at this age.
I am currently reading 1-2-3 Magic and it seems to be a little better. I did start TOs this week and taking things away from her. I don't know that there is anything that is going to work with this girl, she's even more stubborn than I am (if thats possible). She is just downright mean sometimes, she threw her sister's lovey out of the crib the other night and laughed when she started crying!

If you find something that works, let me know and I will do the same for you!! (And lets hope they never meet or they will take over the world together!)

 

Cohlee, how do you keep her in T.O.? I was using a PNP, but she climbs out now. I'd have to sit on her to enforce it now. I loved Magic 1-2-3, but now I can't use it because she won't stay in T.O.

 

I just keep putting mine back in TO. I pick them up, say something like "it's time for TO right now. You need to sit down and stay there until I tell you to come out", and walk a few feet away. Minimal to no eye contact. I don't go far though. Our TO chair is in the main family room so they are closely supervised and that works really well for us.

I have not read Happiest Toddler on the Block but the only time I ever mimick my kids is if they are doing obnoxious low-grade whining in the car and I usually get a giggle out of them which then distracts them. Otherwise, I think mimicking them seems pretty crazy and disrespectful (not to mention likely very ineffective!).

Another 1-2-3 Magic fan here!

 

I have been using the bumbo and keep her right in my line of vision, and if she gets up then I out her right back until the timer goes off.
If it is during a meal (throwing food, milk, etc) then I take her tray off her highchair and spin her around to face a wall.