Already given an answer

Ummm... how do you get THAT to happen? Ainsley asked for soft pretzel for snack. Those are in the garage freezer, and I'm not going out in the rain to get them, so I said no. She won't stop whining about it. How do you get them to just accept your answer and move on? Oh, and even better, what you said yes, but after XYZ (i.e. we can play outside after lunch), but then they keep on about it?

 

UGH!! No real good answers from me. That makes me more crazy than the run-of-the-mill repetition!!GGGRRR

One thing I do is tell them when they can have it. Then if they keep asking then they can't have it at all. Say, if they asked in the morning and I (thinking the rain would stop ) told them they could have soft pretzels after rest time but they kept whining about them in the morning - then no soft pretzels after rest time either. So that works sometimes but that doesn't work with all scenarios. That's it, all I have. Yep, that means there's a lot of whining going on here too!!!

 

My 5-year-old has yet to outgrow this, and it drives me bananas. For example -- we're at the beach this week, and our routine has been to go to the pool in the morning, and then the beach after nap.

So, Nadia puts on her bathing suit, packs a towel and goggles, puts on her flip-flops, and stands by the front door saying, "I wish we could go to the pool now." Meanwhile, it takes us another 30 minutes to change K&K's diapers, get some food into them (Nadia exists solely on air), pack five towels and floaties and sunscreen and whatever, get ourselves ready, etc.

Within that half hour, about every three minutes we hear a big dramatic sigh, and an, "So, are we almost ready to go to the pool?" and "I really wish I could be swimming right now!" and "Which pool can we go to first?" and "I bet the water feels so good." and "Mom, how much longer will it be before we can go to the pool?"

Every friggin' morning. It's a miracle we haven't murdered her yet. And then, it's big drama when we have to get out of the pool to come back upstairs for lunch. "Awwwwww, I wish we could stay. The babies are no fun. Blah blah whine gripe."

Yeesh. Usually DH or I ends up losing it and yelling, "WE SAID NO! DEAL WITH IT!"

 

I threaten more consequences when they badger me about stuff! Or I tell them to stop the whining and badgering and COUNT them and put them in time out!! (It's a STOP thing, so that counts!! )

Yesterday Alison FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHRRRRREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEDDDDDD the other day in the car. I told her that she needed to knock it off or she was going to lose her evening cartoons!! She stopped for a while, then got ungrateful about something else and she spent some time on the fit carpet!!! :grr:

MOMMY MUST WIN!!! That's my motto! (Unless it's Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders!)

 

It drives me nuts, but at least that's one situation where I feel quite willing to say, "I've already told you we're not having pretzels today, and I'm not going to listen to any more whining about it." Then I absolutely ignore them. It doesn't necessarily make them stop, but at least it makes me feel better to put my foot down! (And they do seem to give up a little more quickly if I flat-out ignore them than if I keep answering the question over and over.)

ETA: I do also sometimes impose further consequences -- similar to what Sheryl said. It's a pick-your-battles thing, and sometimes it's not worth it. But sometimes I'll say "Starting now, you have to wait one more minute for every time you ask me." (Works best for very short-term things, like wanting more juice at breakfast.)

I did have to laugh at Nadia's drama-queen routine -- so subtle. "I bet the water feels so good." :rotflmbo:

 

OH my gosh. This is so my house right now. It is like they try to wear us down. I just say, "Mommy said no, and my answer is not going to change no matter what you do," and then I put myself on ignore mode.

Absolutely maddening, though.

 

We say "Suck it up."

 

OK, ignoring worked on the pretzel drama. Gotta remember to stick with it . Silly me thought I could get an almost-4 yr old to see the logic in "why go outside in the pouring rain for a pretzel, when there are 100 other things to eat in the house?". Same with yes we can do X, but after Y. Well if you quit whining and hurry up and (eat lunch, get dressed, etc), then you will be that much closer to doing X. Nope, they fail to see the logic, so ignore the whining it is. Or threaten not to do whatever.

 

What really drives me nuts is when the answer is yes and they still whine (between the yes and getting what they asked for). Andrew will whine and moan "Want to wear your boots" over and over, with escalating pitch, between the "OK" and going to the basement to get them. :wacko:

 

Oh yeah, that's fun huh? "I want some water!" "OK", as I go get a cup and begin to fill it. "I want some WATER!" Yeah, geez give me a sec! They do that in the car all the time too when asking for a song. Sorry life isn't so instant, gotta find it on the iPod. Back in my day, we had to listen to whatever was on the radio and like it!

 

Yeah, my Dad only listened to talk radio or sports. We didn't even bother to complain because we knew it wasnt going to make a difference. Hmm...maybe he was on to something.

 

No whining allowed in our house, so if they have been told no and start the whine/argue routine, we announce that there will be a consequence for said behavior and start counting. If I get to three, I follow through and remove/take away a pleasure/reward (in our house, that's the TV so they lose 30 minutes of TV; they only get a max of 2-3 hours of TV a day). Example:

Alex--Momma, I want juice.
Me--If you're thirsty, you may have milk or water since you drank all your juice for today.
Alex--But I want juuuuiiiiice....
Me--That's one. We do not whine or throw tantrums. I said no more juice. If I get to three, you lose TV time.
Alex--*crying in between whines about juice*
Me--That's two.
Alex--*throws a toy*
Me--That's three *turns off TV* Alex, would you like some water or milk?

If it looks like he's going to get worked up over this, I start counting again and say it's time out time if you don't calm down and if I get to three. That's how I do it at least. After doing this the first couple times, I don't have to count past one. In any case, I can relate to the frustration. I have a very hard time being patient with them when they are like this. I usually have to go elsewhere for a moment or two after I've counted to calm myself down ;-)

Hope that helps.

 

This is also a big issue with the twins and my 4 yr old DD. My 3yr DS is the Worst though!
He will ask for something and as Im getting it, keep asking. "yeah, Im getting it"

Its waaaayyy worse though, when I say no to something. Usually a snack before dinner or after theyve had a snack or too close to bed time or whatever. He just keeps asking and crying and he's actually started throwing fits now. GRRRRRR. When I get really frustrated I'll tell him to Get over it!