Help me think this through!

Hey everyone! I am 26 weeks pregnant with our first babies (two girls) and I am starting to freak out about the work situation. I have worked full-time for the past 11 years and I don't know anything different. DH and my plan all along was for me to be a SAHM and we planned financially for that. When I told them at work that I was pregnant and I intended to stay home with the babies, my boss kind of "counter-offered" and asked if I would be interested in doing some part-time work from home. I told her I would think about it and get back to her...well, fast-forward 12 weeks or so and I still haven't nailed anything down with her. I'm just so unsure!!

Is work from home even possible with two infants? I can't even imagine life with one baby...let alone two. The extra money would be nice and I think I would enjoy having some connection to the outside world, but is it just going to totally stress me out? I know plenty of women go back to work full-time and I completely respect that decision. But, I will be the full-time childcare in addition to trying to get some things done for my employer. I don't want to short-change either my babies or my employer who I love!!!

Any insight from anyone as I try and figure out what to do? As a side note, I probably would take my full 12 weeks of FMLA, so we are talking about 3 month old babies before I would start working at home.

Thanks!

Leigh

 

Leigh, :hug: That's a tough decision to make right now. :hug: Is your boss open to letting you decide about, say, 8 weeks after birth? Only so you can see how things are going and if you feel it can fit into your home schedule. Or if you think you want to try and do it, you can always tell them after giving it an honest go that you just can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I had some better advice. :hug: What kind of work is it anyway?

 

Liz-
Thanks for your reply! That was my husband's suggestion as well. He said what if we put a date out there and give either party (me or my employer) an opportunity to say that the arrangement just isn't working?

My work is in HR/Benefits. I do a lot of interviews as well as administer all of our benfits programs. I would probably have to drop the interviewing all together because that would require me to be in-office. I could probably do a lot of benefits administration remotely via the internet.

Thanks again for your advice!

Leigh

 

I tried working at home for my employer part time with my first and it did not work. Whenever I thought I had a good time to sit down and work, it never panned out and that was just with one baby. Even as she got older it never got any better. This was just my experience though, maybe for you it will be different.

 

Well if you work from home, especially with two babies, you'd probably be best off having someone come in for those hours that you intend to work and be responsible for the babies even while you are still there. You could certainly find a college student or someone with a flexible schedule I'm sure who would be open to that kind of schedule and wouldn't cost you a ton of money. Maybe that would work for you? I am expecting my first two, but have experience as a full-time nanny for over 8 years and even with one baby it would be tough to commit to a certain number of hours a week from home without some extra help!

 

This sounds like a good idea, if it's doable financially. :good: It would keep you working for the employer you love AND it would give you time in the "outside" world.

 

I think working from home is a great option for both you and your employer if you can structure it properly and both sides have a clear understanding of the other's expectations. Also, I'd think it'd depend on what type of work you do. In my job, I have seen these work wonderfully and horribly. The ones that work well usually have childcare during the hours the employee is supposed to be working from home and have a dedicated office space (vs. a laptop set up at the kitchen table). Would you be able to find a responsible neighborhood teenager or a part-time nanny to help out if you'd be in the next room?

What I wouldn't recommend is trying to do everything yourself - working & taking care of the kids at the same time. The work from home arrangements that usually don't work are the ones where an employee is consistently not available during the times they're supposed to be working or deadlines are missed.

Also, it will get harder to work from home as they get into those early toddler years. I occasionally work from home (I do have full-time childcare at home) and now that my son can open doors, he doesn't like it when I'm tucked away in the next room. If I lock the door, he will literally stand there all day and knock!

 

That's a tough decision. Can you hold out on giving your final answer until the end of your maternity leave? Even then it will be tough, but there are so many variables.

-Your opinion may change from the early weeks until your maternity leave is up. Even though my plan before I even became pregnant was to be a SAHM, in the first few weeks after they were born, I felt I was not cut out for raising twins or being a SAHM. I'm glad my husband talked me down and encouraged me to stick with my plan to stay home because he knew I would have regretted it in the future. It's a hard adjustment and you really can't know how you're going to feel until it's here.

-If you have good sleepers, then the work at home thing may be very workable. But if you're getting up several times a night and don't have consistent nappers, or babies who don't sleep at the same time, working from home may require you getting some occasional help to give you a hand so you can get some work done.

-If you really like your job, you may miss it giving it up completely. I hated most things about my job, yet I still have days where I miss it - the adult interaction, using my brain and advancing in my career.

I do think working from home is the best of both worlds. I have started doing some accounting work from home when my babies were about 10 months old. I don't know that I could have handled it in the early days, but anything is possible, and everyone is different. And if it meant I had the job security and comfort level to stick with my old employer, I think I definitely would have given it a shot.

Good luck with your decision, I know it's a tough one!

 

I worked FT from home, but I had childcare for the girls while I worked. I personally would not have gotten much done without childcare.

 

I wasn't planning on going back to work, but when my girls turned 10 months old my old job asked me to come back part-time (2x a week)
I don't think it would have been possible for me to get any work done at home with infants. Like others have said, if you have someone who can come help for those hours then it would be do-able :good:
Once my girls were 10 months going back to work 2x a week was AWESOME!! Just enough time for me to feel like I have a life outside the home and for me to miss my kids :wub:
I would wait (if you can) to see how things go after the first couple months before making a decision.
Good luck!

 

Honestly, I don't think it will be possible. Well, maybe possible, but utterly stressful. And it's only going to get harder the older they get. If you really want to keep the work connection and like working, I would get someone to come in and take care of your kids on the days that you are going to work.

I work full time and my kids are in full time daycare. But I work from home one day a week ... I've been in the situation where my kids were home when I was working from home because of being sick or something like that ... OMG, what a nightmare. It's so hard to try to juggle their needs with works needs ... unless your work literally says "work 6 hours a day, and we don't care when they are" ... then maybe you can work after they go to bed (assuming they are STTN) ... I don't know. I just remember the insanity of twinfants. If you can swing paying for extra help, go for it ... but otherwise, I think it's going to be more stress than you need.