Extra-curricular activities

Do you find yourselves declining invites to be on boards/groups/councils since having twins? Like for the PTA or through your church or whatever?

I have been asked numerous times to be on different committees and what not. Lately, I have been turning them down. Part of me feels guilty because I am a SAHM. It is not like I am involved in a ton of activities. I am a sunday school teacher and I am the music leader for our VBS (which is a big deal and takes about 4-6 months preparation). I just find with the twins age right now, it is difficult to do alot of extras. It is just not worth it. Our at home life is busy enough and I feel like I shouldn't add to it. Do you all ever feel that way? Or am I using the twin card as an excuse?? Is having twin toddlers a good enough excuse to decline?

 

I think the question is do you WANT to do these things? I decline some things that I just don't want to do and now that I have an "excuse" I feel like I can say no. But I still do lots of things that I enjoy doing too.

 

Yeah, I don't feel obligated to do the things that I used to do.

 

I've never been offered to be on councils/groups/boards, etc :blush: However, with the twins being so little, I would probably decline due to the time factor, plus my DH works an odd schedule so I would have to factor in a child care coverage as well.
If your interests reside more in home life, that is cool, you can always politely decline by saying you cannot give the position your best focus right now but that you are honored to be asked.

 

I agree that it's okay to claim the twins as an excuse if you're having trouble saying no otherwise...somehow I got roped into being our sunday school superintendant before I knew I was having twins-- it's been a looooooong year- can't wait to give the reins come September. Part of it is having the excuse (and others totally buy it because what do they know about life w/ twins-- they just imagine you tied up to a kitchen chair with your twins running mad through the house coloring on the walls and screaming like banshees) but part of it is that it just takes up a lot of stinking time and your spare (ha, ha) time is sacred--- I have to dream about trips to the grocery store alone. This is not the time in your life to feel bad about saying no. You don't even have to have a "legitimate" reason to do so...just say it. no. practice it. no. not "no, because I..." just no.

twin mommies of the world unite!

:laughing:

 

i totally agree with this! and i remind myself of it when i say no to things - not just committees & such, but social things as well. the top three priorities in my life right now are my kids, my husband & me - if i have anything left over after that, then i'm happy to go out/help out/whatever. otherwise, i choose to say no & not to feel guilty about it. and i really do have to choose to not feel guilty - it's such a knee jerk reaction to feel bad about it when saying no when you feel like you don't have a "good" or "valid" reason.

 

I guess not enough or I would.

I think that is it the spare time I do have is sacred. I could do things during the day...as long as I had child care available. BUT...most of this stuff is in the evening. Our evenings can still be pretty hectic and this is the only chance we get to spend time as a family.

So true with the top priorities....it is still hard to say no and not feel guilty though.