Where do you let them in your house?

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by happyfor2, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. happyfor2

    happyfor2 Well-Known Member

    The other day our boys were in our living room playing with their toy kitchen. I was sitting where I could see them playing in the next room at our dining room table. I was looking down for a moment and heard a crash, then a loud cry... The boys had knocked over the kitchen and one of my boys had hit his head on the door. :shok: He got a pretty nasty bump on his head. Since this was our first big bump on the head I decided to call our doctor's office. It was a Saturday afternoon so I got the doctor on call. Of course, she told me the things to watch out for but also added "well, you just have to watch them every second. That means if you have to go to the bathroom, I guess they go with you too". Thankfully Nicholas was ok but it got me thinking....

    Right now our boys pretty much are limited to our living room and basically I am usually always with them except for a few minutes at a time during the day when I run to grab their breakfast or lunch. But I am always within earshot and I am constantly checking on them during those few minutes. I was actually recently considering expanding their play area to their room which is off of the living room. However, now the doctor's comments have me wondering. How could I watch them in both the living room and their bedroom. I would be constantly going back and forth all day long. So my question is.....where are your kids allowed in your house? Do you have them primarily in one area where you can see them at all times? At what age can you let them play by themselves?

    Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
     
  2. megkc03

    megkc03 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Oy. If *I* contained them to one room where I could see them all day...I might have gone crazy months ago! :blink: You do what you feel comfortable with I guess. I let my kids go wherever in the house. I keep the bathroom door closed at all times as well as the gate to the upstairs. Otherwise-they have free roam. Usually my bedroom door is shut as well, and the playroom is usually under some type of supervision, unless I don't mind cleaning up the tornado they leave in their wake...

    I think accidents are going to happen. Shoot-I was sitting in the chair in the living room with Nicholas at my feet. He fell off a toy and hit is head right above the eye. I was sitting RIGHT THERE. Things are going to happen. With the new baby, I pump in my bedroom-so it's out of their reach-and they are roaming around the house-either playing with toys, watching a video, entertaining the dog, etc. I've let them play by themselves since...well...the beginning I guess. Kids are kids. They need to explore. They're going to climb(this one drives me BONKERS).

    Seriously though-you can't even go to the bathroom in peace? Yikes! I mean-I know when I go I leave the door open and they find me anyways...lol...but for two seconds you can't go to the bathroom? I think as long as the house is toddler-proofed, they should be ok.

    Basically-I let me kids have free roam. They're almost 21 months old. Sure they get into things, fall down, make messes, etc. But it's part of being a kid. And accidents are going to happen-even when you are right there. So try letting them have more "freedom" and see how they do. They might surprise you! Oh-and glad to hear Nicholas is ok btw!
     
  3. jjzollman

    jjzollman Well-Known Member

    We have our house divided into three "play zones". :lol:

    Zone 1: We have a sunken family room - on one wall are slider doors that go into a sunporch and on the other wall is the doorway to the playroom. We gate off the steps and usually leave the rest of the doors open so they can roam through three rooms.

    Zone 2: Our "main" level which is our foyer, kitchen, dining room, and living room. We just gate off the steps that go upstairs and they have free roam of the main level.

    Zone 3: Upstairs. I gate off the top of the stairs and they have access to the bedrooms that have their doors open.


    I am always within earshot and the majority of the time they are within my sights, I'm always in the same "zone" as they are unless I make a 1 minute run somewhere to grab something while I know they are safe and content - but things happen. You can't be on top of your kids every single second of the day. And I'm sorry, but there is no way in he** I'm dragging two biting, hitting, toddlers into the bathroom with me every time I have to pee. The bathroom is my "quiet place". I look forward to taking a break in there throughout the day. :laughing:
     
  4. sharerc

    sharerc Well-Known Member

    Hmmm...my kids also have free roam of the house. I try to keep bathrooms closed because they get into the toilet paper now. But there really isn't much they can get into in any other rooms. DD keeps her toy room closed at all times because she has little toys in there.

    I agree with PP, accidents will happen regardless of you standing right next to them or not. Heck, Mallory fell today standing right next to me. She pulled the stroller over and scrapped her face up. I was within inches of her.

    I would disregard your doctor's advice. As long as you can hear what is going on in the room and it is babyproofed well enough, you are fine IMO.
     
  5. mnellson

    mnellson Well-Known Member

    Wow, with her advice, I doubt she has kids of her own, nevermind twin toddlers! It's just not humanly possible or realistic to expect that you keep your eyes on them every moment of everyday. Even if you had just one baby. Childproof the best you can and give them some freedome (when you are comfortable). They need to learn and explore their environment.

    It really bothers me when people make comments like this. It's not like you wern't paying attention to them. And even if this happened while you were in the bathroom, you are not a bad mom because you didn't prevent it from happening.

    My kids roam the house. There are a few trouble spots that the baby is always getting into that there is nothing I can do about (the trash, under the bathroom sink bumps head inder the kitchen table, opens and closes the entertainment center doors). She also climbs. It makes me crazy. I do my best. Sometimes I turn my back to help another sibling and someone else happens to fall, bump head, etc. Of course I fell horrible, but it's not like I wnated it to happen. Then there's the fighting, biting, hair pulling that thet do, even while sitting on my lap.

    So, I guess my answer is to help them/ revent it when you can, but let them live life in a normal way!
     
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  6. snowmom

    snowmom Well-Known Member

    I have a two floor house. When we are downstairs, I keep the spare room and my older sons bedroom closed, and the stairs gated. Upstairs, I keep the bathroom,my bedroom closed. Every thing else is fair game. Do what works best for you. I agree that the dr was talking out of her bu#t.lol
     
  7. sbcowell

    sbcowell Well-Known Member

    I think what you are doing is fine! They are ALWAYS going to fall and bump their heads, knees and other body parts. I just try and keep mine from having really big falls (ie down the stairs, or from the top of the entertainment centre!), other then that I expect they are going to hurt themselves a bit - its a part of learning and growing up! Your dr sounds a little bit out to lunch!
    My kids have full roam of the main floor (with the exception of the office which is gated off, the stairs which are gated off and the front door area which is also gated off) - so they can roam the family room, large hallway and the kitchen (altho I can close the door for when I dont want them in there). Upstairs they have free roam of their bedrooms the hallway, the spare room and even most days my bedroom (as it is fairly childproofed). They seem to be happier when can roam a bit.
    I am always watching them, except for the 2min I go to the bathroom, or prepare a meal (of which I am constantly running out to check on them, as I can't see them from the kitchen), I figure when they hit somewhere in the 2yr old range maybe we wont need quite as much supervision...but who knows!
     
  8. E&Msmom

    E&Msmom Well-Known Member

    My kids are younger than yours.
    We have a ranch style house with an open floor plan. That said, the only rooms they dont have access to is the Laundry room, our bedroom, and the guestroom. Every other room is baby proofed and approved for play!
    You do have to watch them like a hawk but its hard to watch (2) 1 year olds when they run in opposite directions!
     
  9. daniv

    daniv Well-Known Member

    Ditto. We also have a ranch style that is open. I can gate their room which is baby proofed and they play fine for awhile but then I open it and let them out. I shut bathrooms and my bedroom and DD bedroom, she has too many little toys. Then the boys have free reign.
     
  10. sharongl

    sharongl Well-Known Member

    At that age, I kept the bathroom doors, basement door and all bedroom doors except theirs closed (we have a 2 floor colonial), and they could go anywhere in the house that didn't have a closed door (they couldn't open them yet). Your doctor reminds me of the singleton moms we had in music class, who didn't get that you couldn't do everything for 2 children at the same time, like they could with their one.

    I say you are doing fine. Accidents do happen. Heck, Marcus got a concussion at 16 months right in front of DH and I when he tripped on his own feet and fell into the storm door! I am glad he is fine!
     
  11. Rach28

    Rach28 Well-Known Member

    My LOs play in the lounge, entrance hall, corridor, the guest bedroom and on upstairs landing. I close all the doors to rooms I dont want them going in. I leave them alone in the lounge for short periods of time but Im always close by, like you, within earshot. I can hang out the washing (I live in a flat so my line is outside the kitchen window) if I put Baby Einstein on. They are both mobile so they can come and find me if needs be. I dont leave them alone anywhere else as it isn´t 100% babyproofed plus there are tables and chairs which could slide, etc. As you say, accidents happen and there´s no way you can watch them every single minute. I think it´s good that they play alone as long as they are safe. GL and don´t feel bad. :)
     
  12. kingeomer

    kingeomer Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We have a tiny three level rowhome. The kids spent most of their day on the main floor which is the living room, dining room and kitchen. They can roam freely in these rooms and they are pretty much baby proofed so the kids can't cause too much damage.
     
  13. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    You need to do what's best for you. Ideally I'd say, if you can baby proof the rest of the house, let them roam, but if you can't, I think it's safer to contain them in a baby proof area when you need to get things done (including going to the bathroom).

    Mine pretty much stay in the living room with me, we have a long gate and made sure it's totally baby proof, but I let them roam in the other two rooms when I know I can keep an eye on them, as they're not baby proof. Can't wait to have our own house again so we can drill holes to make the whole thing baby proof though.

    In the end, those accidents will happen, but we still have to make sure the kids are in safe areas, even if it means closing some doors. I'd say the doctor probably assumes that there are parents out there who let their kids play in unsafe areas without supervising them, so decided that a reminder wouldn't hurt. I'm sure some parents can use it.
     
  14. debid

    debid Well-Known Member

    DITTO THIS! My gosh, you can't sit there staring at them every second of every day or you'd never get anything done. How exactly are you supposed to prepare a meal and not look away? Lock them in a box at your feet? :rolleyes: You babyproof the best you can, teach them about what is dangerous as well as they can understand, and you tend to their owies when they occur... and they will occur.

    It also drives me through the roof when you tell someone about an injury and they look at you and say that you have to watch them every second. I always want to ask them which day works best for them to come over and demonstrate for me.

    ETA: I make the space smaller by keeping all doors locked between uses (a huge pain but that's all that has worked for "babyproofing" since around 22 months when they'd mastered locking/unlocking doors, climbing over gates, and undoing every babyproofing device other than the loop locks and those require a specific cabinet type.
     
  15. Leighann

    Leighann Well-Known Member

    I agree that this doctor probably doesn't have kids. Seriously you have to watch them every second?! Whatev's. My girls have the den all to themselves and can also play in their room, my room, and the living room while I'm supervising. But my house is under construction so its not a typical house that you can just toddler-proof. The worst accidents have occurred when I'm standing RIGHT.THERE though. Last weekend Meara tripped on a sippy cup right in front of me and bumped her head on the wall really hard. I was right there watching her, but it happened so quickly there was nothing I could do. You can try to watch them 24/7, but it will drive you nuts and not stop the accidents from happening. Glad your lil one is ok :hug:
     
  16. ldrane

    ldrane Well-Known Member

    I agree...She must not have kids! Plus it was the "on call" doctor who really doesn't know you or your family. She should just stick to giving medical advice not parenting advice. I would let what she said go in one ear and out the other.

    We have a ranch style home, too. They pretty much have free roam except for the bathrooms, laundry room and computer room. I don't stay in the same room with them 24/7. I wouldn't get anything done if I did. I agree with pp, you baby proof to try and prevent accidents, but even if you are sitting right there, accidents can still happen.
     
  17. becasquared

    becasquared Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My two have access to the main area of the house. The bedrooms (including their bedroom) are off limits, as are the bathrooms and the kitchen if we're not in there.

    And just wait until one of the kids gets hurt because of you! I accidentally bumped Royce the other day and he went careening into the window and ended up with a huge bump on his forehead. Totally my fault, but I don't feel guilty. Accidents happen.
     
  18. heathertwins

    heathertwins Well-Known Member

    I have a large livingroom that I have attempted to baby proof as best i can. The large book shelves are now secured to the wall. I keep a good eye on them but I do have to leave the room sometimes. I haven't babyproof the rest of my house and instead i try to get the kids out to the playground or some play centres to satisfy their desire to climb and explore. The other day my daughter ran into our bedroom only to quickly put a small coin into her mouth she found on our end-table. I just don't have the time to babyproof everywhere.

    I have a hallway that I also gate off and when I'm in the kitchen I allow them into the dining area (across from the kitchen). I don't like how they can move the kitchen chairs and climb up on them. That means any knifes on the kitchen counter could be accessed. I am glad I have only gradually given them space. (my livingroom is plenty big mind you) It is hard to take it back if you decide later on you don't want them somewhere.
     
  19. twinmuffin

    twinmuffin Well-Known Member

    I have a bilevel house. The girls are never allowed in the lower level, way too much stuff to get into, it's our office/working area, etc. On the upper level they have access to their bedroom, the living room, the dining room and the kitchen. Sometimes I will gate off the kitchen if I'm trying to unload the dishwasher so they don't "help" me, but other than that they have free reign of those rooms.
     
  20. xavier2001

    xavier2001 Well-Known Member

    We live in a tri-level and my kids have free access to the main level and finished basement. Those areas are toddlerproofed and b/c our house is small I'm generally in earshot. I don't have the upstairs gated off but prefer they not be up there and they are really good about knowing that its off limits, sometimes they will wander up if I run up to use the bathroom or am putting away laundry but never go up unattended. I agree my kiddos may have gone insane by now restricted to one room, they love to roam place to place and it keeps them from getting bored.
     
  21. KYsweetheart

    KYsweetheart Well-Known Member

    Nothing is blocked off in our house. Everything is kid friendly here though. The dog food and water are in the kitchen floor but they know not to touch it.

    Also one time our Yorkie pooped in the floor and Katie went and got a roll of toilet paper and brought to me and walked me to where the poop was at and showed me.
     
  22. lianyla

    lianyla Well-Known Member


    Exactly the same as this. Except, I took the gate down and they CAN go downstairs AND outside alone if they want to. I have too much to do and go BONKERS as it is so i CANNOT be with them every second. I never had a gate to corner them off, either. I agree with Meg and I just felth that they needed to be free to explore and get hurt (you know what I mean, not seriously hURT) if they needed to. That's life!

    It is TOTALLY an individual thing and do what YOU feel comfortable with, of course :)

    So far, so good over here. Mine ARE fairly docile tho and don't get into stuff.. EVER! :)
     
  23. happychck

    happychck Well-Known Member

    ours have access to the living room/dining room, the kitchen (not the best idea but we've had trouble gating this area), hallways, etc. we keep the bedroom doors closed because one of them has 3 other doors (closet, toilet and regular bathroom) so it's hard to supervise. we have a gate on our guest bathroom which is right in the middle of the house, because that door doesn't close very well (much to the chagrin if guests who try to use that bathroom and find out that our lo's are total voyuers!).

    i agree that it's unreasonable to watch them/see them every single minute.
     
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