Lovies

I am just curious.....

Both of ours have lovies. They are VERY attached to their lovies. Is this something they will give up on their own or will they be taking it to College unless we make them give it up? I just didn't know if Lovie attachment was the same as pacie attachment....in my experience you usually just have to take the pacifier away. Will it be the same with the lovie?

 

My 5-year-old became attached to hers around 1 year, and she still needs it to sleep. When she turned 5, we made the rule that "boo" must stay in her bedroom at all times.

She's fine with that, and I don't care if she sleeps with the thing until college. Maybe it will scare off the boys, LOL.

We used to let her drag it everywhere, but we didn't allow it to go to preschool (although she wanted it in the car). But with our little ones, their lovies stay in their cribs. I think we'll make the rule from the beginning that they don't leave their bedrooms.

 

I couldn't vote in your poll because I don't think there is an age for "too old for lovies." But then again, I'm a 34 year old who still has her 'brown bear' and 'blankie' And yes, BB and B went to college with me!!! (and grad school, and on my honeymoon, and hospital bedrest while pg with the girls, etc etc!).

ETA: And yes both my girls have lovies, I will let them give them up on their own, and if they grow up and still have them, thats cool!

 

DD has had a lovie for a while now and DS just developed a very strong attachment to a stuffed animal he has had in his room since he was born. They are only allowed in their cribs and in the car if we are going on a long trip and I want them to sleep. We will give it a few more years and if they don't grow out of their attachment, we will probably take them away.

 

Just to clarify....

When I was saying "too old" to have a lovie, I was thinking more along the lines of dragging it everywhere. I don't really mind them sleeping with it. Although, they suck their thumbs when they have their lovies. So, I assume to stop the thumbsucking we will eventually have to take them away (unless they give them up on their own soon).

 

I didn't vote because my children don't really have lovies and never had----BUT, I have a love and yes, I took it to college. I have two actually. One is a baby blanket, that when I was in 7th grade I realized that it was about to dissinigrate, so I carefully guarded it away. I still have it, but in a box. The other is a teddy bear that I took to rather late in life, around 6 or 7 years old. I still sleep with the bear on occasion and have never been away from it long, the bear has been to every country I've been to, and I also have photographs of the bear in front of many world famous landmarks.

So yes, you children very well may go to college with them, and so what?

 

Oh! Thanks for the clarification! My girls stopped dragging their lovies around with them when they were about 15 months old. I discouraged it because I was afraid they would lose them. So they are only allowed in their beds or if we take a trip, on the plane.

(and I don't drag mine around with me either- BB is on a shelf in our den and the girls play with him occassionally, and the blanket stays in my bed).

 

I voted college, but really I don't think they're ever too old. I still have mine. But we've never let them drag their loveys around everywhere -- Sarah's stay in the bed (mostly), and Amy has one that stays in the bed and a few that she carries around the house, but they never leave the house.

For dragging it around everywhere, I'd say they'd certainly have to give that up in time for kindergarten -- before that, it's just a question of how much of a hassle it is for you.

 

I say that you are never too old for a lovie. I had a comforter that I got when I was in third grade, took it to college with me and finally had to throw it about 2 years ago. It was too riped up to fix. It was one of the hardest days ever and I had a hard time sleeping for awhile. My boys have puppies for their lovies and I am not sure they will even last until collge, but if they do, they can take them too. I'm all about the lovie and security!!

 

I so agree. I can't remember very many of my boy friends having lovlies by the time we all got to college, but I had quite a few girl friends that would have stuffed animals all over their beds. I don't know if we necessarily slept with them, but we decorated with them. My parents never pushed the issue with me, and I was attached to mine for a while. My girls have their favs, and that's a battle I choose not to fight with them. It's a pain sometimes, but I don't fight with them over it.

 

Just wondering (again).....

Both of mine suck their thumbs at the sight of their lovie. Was or is this an issue for you or your little one's that have lovies? Does lovies and thumbsucking go hand and hand or is it just a coincidence in our case?

 

Mine both have them and I'll let them give them up freely. I still have a purple bear that I slept with until DH and I got married. Yes, I took it to college and slept with it every night. Now, it sits on a shelf in the kids' room. I also still have to sleep with a blanket with satin edging (my eenie blanket) that I can rub while I fall asleep. It isn't the same one from when I was a kid because the satin rips off after a few years, but I do still have one. One of DS's lovies is an eenie blanket, too.

 

I chose the never too old because I had a stuffed dog and then later a bear (the dog was about to fall apart) that I used to sleep with. I took the bear to college, but I don't use it now. I still have my dog in a special place in my closet to keep forever.

My girls have a favorite blanet as do my older two. Eventually I'm sure they'll give them up, but for right now it doesn't hurt them to have them.

I do have a friend whose daughter went on her honeymoon with her blankie...I thought that was too funny!

 

We have that issue, too. Nadia's habit is to rub the tag on her lovey with her right hand, and suck her left thumb.

We decided to let her stop the habit naturally, without pressure. She has lost both of her front bottom teeth, so now it's time to start thinking about it as she gets her adult teeth....so the dentist a couple days ago told her she could come back for a big prize if she could go two whole weeks without sucking her thumb. And, she's making a serious effort. But, she still *needs* that lovey, and is rubbing the tag with both hands now, instead of sucking her thumb.

Anyhow. I'm not overly worried about it. If she's still sucking her thumb in a couple years, we'll rethink our plan.

 

I am so thrilled to find out that I'm not the only one to take a blankie to college!! I always felt like such a freak! (And sorry to PP, but it did nothing to keep the boys away.) It was relegated to my lingerie drawer by sophomore year, where it still resides, but it was a comfort to have it around during several hard transitions growing up.

Sometimes I wonder if I kept it longer because my stepdad really wanted me to get rid of it when I was 7 (and my mom helped me repack it when he made me take it out of the suitcase before heading to sleep away camp for the first time).

And I also sucked my finger constantly while holding the blankie when I was little, but gave up the finger sucking completely, on my own, when I was around 6. After 3 or 4 I think I only did it to fall asleep - in any case, I don't remember anyone worrying about it.

 

Thank you! I was really looking for those who have dealt with the lovie/thumbsucking combo. I am not overly worried about it at this point, but I have been wondering about the whole thumbsucking thing. My 2 tend to want to drag them everywhere, too. It is not just a sleeping thing. Anyways, I think (from reading others posts) that maybe we do need to eventually restrict the lovies to their bedrooms.

Zabeta- it makes me feel better (as far as my 2 are concerned) to know that even though you never gave up the Lovie, you DID give up the thumbsucking! That is what I am most concerned about.

Becca34- That is GREAT that your DD is giving it serious effort! I agree with you....if the thumbsucking is still an issue in a couple of years then we will probably change our plan.

 

My kids all have lovies but they don't HAVE to sleep with them every night. My one daugther we let her toake hers to the ER when she hurt her arm and she lost it in the parking lot (dh was with her). Well we ended up buying her a similar one since they didn't make the orignal one she had. She is happy with the one she has but still talks about her old one. She does sleep with it most nights but it's more for when she is upset she like to snuggle with it. That's when we made the rule they don't leave the house, unless they are spending the night and even then I can convice them to take something else. My son used to need his every night and at nap time until he got a Thomas fleece blanket now he really likes that when taking naps but still needs his lovie when sleeping at night. I won't force them to give up their lovies and don't care if they are taking them to college either.

 

All of mine have lovies but only Alyssa sucks her thumb. When she is tired or in need of extra comfort she likes to cuddle bunny and suck her thumb. I think that (for her) the thumb-sucking is a stronger source of comfort than bunny, she was sucking her thumb before she became attatched to bunny (she used to have a teddy bear as her lovey and when she was very little only had her thumb) and she'll suck her thumb while she's not cuddling bunny. She doesn't suck her thumb just at the sight of bunny, only if she's cuddled up with him.
I don't think taking the lovie away would stop the thumb sucking, I can actually see it making it worse. In the same way that Becca was saying trying to quit thumb sucking has made her daughter need her lovey more, I can imagine that taking away a lovey could make a child need to suck their thumb more.

If it helps I can tell you that Alyssa cuddles bunny and sucks her thumb far less now than when she was younger. She still often keeps bunny close by, and will sometimes cuddle up with him whilst watching TV/listening to a story, but other than that only needs him when going to sleep. This happened without any intervention.

 

DS has a little stuffed Pooh bear, and DD has a bigger stuffed Pooh bear. They can take their lovies to the old folks' home for all I care! I see no reason to make them give them up. The only limit we have is that the Pooh bears don't leave the house, and this is only so we don't have to worry about them getting lost/dirty.

About thumbsucking - DD does it only in specific situations, both connected with loveys. She always goes to sleep on her back, hugging Pooh bear with her left arm and sucking her right thumb. The other time is when we're together after being apart for a while, and then it goes together with her other lovey: my ear. She plays with my ears compulsively when she's feeling needy or has missed me, and sucks her thumb at the same time. (That's one lovey she WON'T be taking to college, though! :lol: Though I wonder if she'll visit home both to do her laundry and to play with my ears...)

 

Good Point! Thanks, that does help!!

 

Our kids were very attached to their blankets and stuffed animals. But when we got rid of the pacifier, it got much better. They stopped dragging them around everywhere.

They are still attached to some blankets we got last year (they traded in their old lovies for new lovies). They can't sleep without them.

 

jessy's is a six by six piece of pink furry material which she stopped carrying around when she was 2 but recently started again due to issues at daycare. I let her because she keeps it clean and it doesn't interfer much

 

My children all have lovies and it doesn't bother me at all. In fact I had one and still have him. Yep, he went to college with me and now still sleeps in my bed, my husband is a wonderful man! My grover has now been with me for almost 33 years and I don't plan on giving him up.

 

Still have my lovie, it's my blankie for TV watching. :blush:

 

This is a question I just asked our Ped this past week!

Both my boys have lovies...Conner really only grabs for his if he's sad, hurt, or tired...OR if he sees Aiden with his. Aiden, on the other hand, is quite attached. Normally I wouldn't care, but he, too, sucks his thumb when he has it. He will NOT suck his thumb without his 'silkie'. He's such an addict that we have 2 in his bed, 1 in the car, 1 in each stroller & 1 on each floor of the house. I always have a spare in the diaper bag, too. He's a VERY 'dramatic' child & sometimes sucking his thumb with his silkie is the ONLY thing to calm him down.

We've discussed forcing silkie to bed & car only, with spares around for dire moments (really upset, hurt, etc). But we haven't had the gall to do it yet. I wouldn't force the issue if it didn't involve his thumb sucking.

After talking with our Ped, he said not to worry about the thumbsucking until he was much older, so that made me feel better. I still think we'll start making them a little less accessible & make it so he has to ask for it vs just go grab it. We are getting better about telling him he doesn't "need it" when he asks & can't find it. It is not allowed outside, in the bathroom, or in the kitchen. He has a silkie at daycare but is ONLY allowed to use it at rest time & does just fine. I think we could easily limit Conner's to his bed, but I don't want to do it to 1 & not the other.

As for me, I still have my baby blanket that my mom received as a shower gift. It's hanging in there, but not in the best shape. I originally had 2 identical ones but have lost one along the way. This one has been by my side non stop, but it never leaves my bed. Well, it travels with me, but not to hotels where it could get lost in the laundry! I guarded it very special in the hospital so that it wouldn't get in their laundry, but I couldn't be on hospital bedrest without it! I'm surprised it survived my college years!!! My husband laughs at me, but I have been known to wake him up to roll off of it in the middle of the night .

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! :hug: I totally feel like you get what we are going through. It is not so much the concern of the lovie, but the thumbsucking and the addiciton to the lovie. I, too, was planning on talking to our ped. about it. Glad to know your ped. said the thumbsucking isn't a concern at this point.

 

I'm just sooo happy to know that I am not the only adult in this world that still has a lovie! lol. My husband has picked on me for years about this and got really mad when I took it (blanket) to Mexico on our honeymoon, and when he found out I had it at the hopsital to have the boys! I put it in my pillow case so he didnt see it hahaa.

Both of my boys have lovies and they can keep them for as long as they choose. The way I see it is that WE give them these things (a lovies or paci), so I don't think it is fair to all of a suddon take them away when it is all they have even known. When the time is right I will help them see that they don't need the paci anymore, so it will be their choice. The lovie isn't ever going to hurt anything, so I'm just happy that they will have something to make them feel safe.