Very Upset

Today, Isabelle has her first physical therapy appointment for her Torticollus. Apparently she isn't getting enough belly time because she can't reach for things while on her belly. The therapist then went on to say that both my girls (even though she saw only one) were behind developmentally. She came up with this conclusion after evaluating Izzi for exactly 20 minutes. I am livid! She doesn't see how well Isabelle does at home and how she does reach for things (although not all the time) while she is on her belly and how both of my girls sleep on their bellies most of the time. While they are awake I try to attempt belly time with them and all they do is scream and cry because their reflux is so bad that it hurts their tummies and all they do is vomit. I just don't know what to do. I am very upset that this lady said my girls are behind.

Our ped told us that having them scream and cry while on their bellies was not good for them and that we were to put them on their bellies until they got to that point. Well, they can go about 15 minutes before they start screaming...I thought this was all adequate. I am frustrated with how every professional seems to differ in opinion about belly time.

I guess I just needed to vent and maybe hear some happy endings from those who went through this.

 

I remember how hard tummy time was, my daughter didn't mind, but my son screamed. (They didn't have reflux though).

It sounds like you are taking her observations/evaluation as criticism, I can't imagine that was how it was intended.

There are many services available to kids from 0-3 years to make sure they reach all their developmental milestones.

I call your pedi and tell them what the PT said and ask if an evaluation for additional services is needed. (They are usually free)

In the meantime, if you can get on the floor with them during tummy time and interact, that helps - they also love mirrors.

 

:hug: Whether it's true or not it's hard to hear. We're going through PT with my 4.5 month old and he hates tummy time.. He doesn't even have reflux, just a bad temper :lol: Our PT said that if we could put him on his tummy for 1-2 minutes 5 times a day that would be great! Sometimes the assessor is just that... I would talk to your ped or a PT (physical therapist) about it.

 

Ladies thanks so much. I do give them 15 minutes of belly time per day and they do sleep on their bellies. I just don't know how much more I can do. As much as we tried explaining to the physical therapist that we do all the things she suggested it seemed like she really didn't believe it. I do get down on the floor with them. They look in a mirror and have all kinds of toys to try and distract them, but nothing seems to keep them from screaming at the 15 minute mark.

I think it's hard for the therapist to understand because of the babies' reflux. IDK...I just feel like I'm at my wits end and feeling like a terrible mom because I'm not doing enough.

 

Ok, take a deep breath.

At the very least getting physical therapy will do nothing for your kids, right? So if they are where they really need to be, then they will go a few times and graduate out of it. If they actually do need it then they will go, until they reach their age appropriate developmental milestones.

I know as a parent it can be hard to hear that our children need extra help, are behind, or are not prefect little angels. I've had those moments too; where other people said things about my kids and I didn't agree, but this is gonna happen for the rest of our lives. Sometimes what other people are telling us is right, and we need to listen. Other times people don't have a clue.

I'd just step back and think...is this gonna hurt my kids? In this case, it's clear that they will get a benefit out of this. Plus, if they need help, it's better to get it sooner rather than later.

We've had a problem with my 9 year old step son. His mother has always refused to get him the extra help he needs with cognitive development because she thinks it's a personal affront and he'll just catch up, and each year he gets further and further behind. He failed first grade, and this could have easily been avoided had he gotten help when he was 3 and could not speak at all. Just remember, it's not personal. It's not a statement about your parenting. There are experts out there for a reason--to help. Not all kids will develop at the same pace or in the same way, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with us parents asking for or needing help.

 

You're not a terrible Mom!!!

 

well, only one of my girls has torticollus so I AM a little offended that she said BOTH of my girls are behind when she only saw one of my daughters. I know that Isabelle needs PT and I am thankful that we can provide that for her, but she was sent home with a list of things that we can do for her and I already do those things. I am confused as to what else I am supposed to do when her Tort doesn't seem to be getting any better. I guess I will discuss this with the ped next month because I seem to be getting a lot of different answers from different doctors.

 

i agree 100% with this.

we started PT for torticollis when the boys were around 4 months. i noticed in photos that they were both looking to one side in almost every picture, so we initiated the process of getting evaluated. sure enough they needed some help and we've been doing exercises and stretches since.

just remember, torticollis starts in the womb. you didn't do anything to cause it or worsen it. it's very common with twins because they're crammed in there and it can mean one muscle on the side of the neck develops longer than the other. it's not a commentary on you and it's really not a big deal.

And maybe it's just because my guys are 6 1/2 weeks early, i'm used to the idea that they could fall somewhere in a range of developmental milestones. they're ahead for some, on time for others, and a bit behind for a few. it'll all even out, and if they are a bit behind PT is going to be the best way to get them caught up.

just take a deep breath. it'll all be good. it's not a commentary on you or them. it just is what it is. good luck! we've enjoyed our experience in PT.

 

My boys both receive PT. It started for torticollis, however I do think they are slightly behind. I think I was prepared because of their early birth and I am a special ed teacher so I always look for delays. You did nothing wrong!!! Ignore the woman, she sounds like a moron!! Tummy time doesn't solve everything. Every child develops at a different rate. What matters is they are moving forward. I would still get as much services as you can because it will only help.

 

THANK YOU!!! This makes me feel so much better. The ped told me to give them between 15-20 minutes of belly time per day which I do. She is telling me that even 30 minutes a day is not enough!!! WHAT?! They are in pain from their reflux because they vomit and she wants me to keep them on their bellies pratically all day. She said no bumbos, no jumperoo, which means no high chair. How would I feed them? Tomorrow I am going to call another physical therapist because I think this lady is a moron. She also said that she doesn't push up or reach for things which is a total lie!!! I watch my kids everyday and I see what they do. They are practically crawling!

I'm sorry about the ranting, but I just can't get this out of my head. I am terribly offended. I just don't think it was right of her to say to a first time parent that my children are behind. Every child does develop at a different pace, so I don't really think any one could be behind.

GRRRRR

 

I think that a second opinion would definitely not be out of the question. At the very least, it would help you to get things settled in your mind before moving forward.

 

Rant away. It's frustrating when people find it so easy to tell you what you're doing wrong. If I had to guess she has zero children. Try not to worry. It sounds like they are doing fine. Mine got approved for PT and I looove their PT. She is awesome and very understanding.

 

:hug: It is very hard to hear that your children are behind. Mine were born at 32 weeks so I always new that they could fall anywhere between ahead or behind. Just because they need a little extra help does not mean that you are a terrible Mom or that you arent doing enough for your girls. Sometimes babies just need some extra work to get them where they need to be. I dont the PT person was trying to offend you or be critical of what you are or arent doing. She was just doing her job to make you aware of some issues. I would definitely call your Ped and let them know that you werent happy and see if you have any other options to try and find someone else. :hug:

 

I would also talk to your ped & see if there is anyone else you can see. It never hurts to have a second opinion. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to do the best for your babies! :hug:

 

:hug: i hope your ok, i'm sorry your going through this. I have been told that Ruby doesn't have torticollis because she can look both ways but they don't see her at home when her head hangs to the left, she looks like she is paralysed down oneside. I know there is something with her neck and she is alot further behind than her sister but it is proving hard to get a diagnosis. Not the same problem i know but i can see that it all boils down to wanting the very best for your children. I hope your ped clarifies a few things for you!! Good luck!