How long does 'survival mode' last?

Hi everyone.

I am still in the 'expecting forum' but would love a poll on how long it took you all to find your 'equilibrium' after the birth of your twins. It would be really helpful to hear from moms who already have kids as well, as my daughter will turn 2 about a month after the twins are born.

I am likely going to have a short maternity leave (8-10 weeks) as I do not qualify for FMLA w/my job (only there 11 months when twins are due but it is a part-time night shift job 2x a week, so I feel I can manage it...

any thoughts?

 

I felt like I had my equilibrium back by the time I returned to work at 8 weeks. By that time they were going to sleep at night and sleeping in between waking to feed at 1 and 4, so we were at least on a decent schedule. It was still difficult, but I was able to function at the office. And it just got better and better from there!

 

i'll be totally honest here.

our boys were born 6 1/2 weeks early so we had an extra 6 1/2 weeks of preemie time before we got to start counting forward on milestones like smiling and sleeping longer and going longer between meals. adding an extra month and a half onto the beginning was definitely tough and my marriage teetered on the brink more than once. we were definitely in "survival mode," or maybe "barely surviving mode." i don't think i felt like i was really going to survive this experience until close to 5 months, which was 3 1/2 months adjusted. and i didn't breathe a sigh of relief and feel like i could see a light at the end of the tunnel until 6 months, 4 1/2 months adjusted.

and now at 9 1/2 months i'm loving every minute of it. the past month has been amazing and it was worth the struggle to get here.

 

I'd say around 2 months

 

well that's no fun, i went to edit my post and the board completely ate it. that's an unfortunate bug.

and now it's back!

anyway, i was editing to mention that we've been dealing with severe reflux so that made things even harder.

 

at two months i felt like we turned a corner and by 3 months i felt like we had things under control. now at 4 months i feel like a human again and want to rejoin my gym, travel and i'm not scared go out with the boys. good luck!

 

I would say, for me, the first 6 weeks were the hardest. Things started getting better after that & by about 3 or 4 months I think I started to feel like I really had control of my life again.

 

Hubby and I joked before they came that the first 6 wks would be hell, the first 6 months would be hard, and after that would be golden!

I was close! The first 6 wks were really rough. But I would say by 4 months for sure we are already golden. I have 2 older kids too, and I can get out and go with the 4 by myself, go shopping or whatever. It's not as easy as it once was, but I can do it! They also started sleeping through the night at 3 months so that really helped!!

 

I have to agree that by two months things were getting easier and more predictable. My DD was sleeping through the night and my DS was no where close to sleeping through the night but he was on a set schedule and we had learned how to get through night feedings quickly. It was February in DC when my babies were that age so we bundled them up and walked every chance we could for fresh air and a change of scenery. My husband and I both agree that the best thing we ever did was start taking our babies out at a young age (5 weeks) We went to dinner with them, took them to the mall, to church, car rides, etc. Anything and everything to get them used to new places, sounds and people. Now when we go out anywhere they love it. So don't be afraid! The survival mode does eventually end and life with twins will seem so normal.

 

My DS just turned 4 when my girls were born. I would say somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks for survival mode. At 8 weeks I was starting to think "I can handle this" and around 12 weeks we were into a good routine. Good Luck!

 

for us it was about 6 weeks initially.... but we are still in monkey madness mode in a lot of ways. both of my twins are super active, one is fussy due to reflux issues along with also being really hyperactive by nature.

every time i think we have equilibrium they change (solids, developments, etc) and i have to re-figure some things out...

 

6wks was probably when I felt I could go in public again, but for us there was something about when the boys hit 8lbs - feeding got faster and naps were a little longer.

 

For us, it was when they started STTN, about 5 months. That's also when they began really move around more for us and just seemed to really start to be fun. That's also the time that I was off for the summer, so I was able to take a break from working, so I'm sure that's why I felt that way; I was having to do night feedings and get up at 5 am to go to work (eww..don't miss those days)

 

At 4 months I was finally happy to have twins (it helped they were sttn!)

 

Our twins are now 6 weeks old and we also have a 4 yo and a 3 yo, honestly it hasn't been anywhere near as bad or crazy as we thought it would be, we are doing the very best to keep the bigger boys' routine going, so the babies' routine is along the same, we go for a walk everyday too, which helps. I took all 4 of them for breakfast and shopping at the mall by myself for the first time when they were only a week old and it was fine. I think you should just go with the flow and enjoy every minute of it, yes there are some crazy times but not bad. Having the experience of an older child will help you also as you know how to handle babies already!Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

 

I'd say the first big mark for me was 6 weeks and then 3 months. I'm almost human again, now I'm just waiting for them to STTN.

 

I'm so glad to read all of these replies. We have twin boys, 4 weeks old and things are getting smoother but nice to know where getting closer more managable.

 

thanks everyone!!

So that sounds about similar to my experience with DD, about 6 weeks I felt more balanced and getting the hang of things. She was a great sleeper however, so you just never know, I will have to see what the personality of these two little guys is like.

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to respond!

 

so i dont have any other kids, but my cousin decided it was a good idea to leave her 4 year old son with me since i was home anyway so she could sleep the day away. after about 5 days i got so hopped up on adrenaline that i didnt notice the lack of sleep and went into an adrenaline induced survival mode that i'm not quite sure i've broken out of just yet. i'd go days at a time on 2-4 hours a night and then crash on the weekends for 10+ hours while dh was home, only waking to pump and pee. i dont know if that is quite what you ment, but thats my story.

 

OMG, I could have written this verbatim from my own experience. BIG HUGS ()

 

I felt emotionally back to normal after about 4 weeks. I actually have 14 weeks off of work (well, actually 24 counting the bedrest), but I feel I'd be ready to go back to work full time much sooner than my 14 weeks. I'm just glad to have that time, even though I don't feel like I need it. GOOD LUCK!!!

 

My boys spent a month in the NICU as 33weekers, but after the first month home, both my mom and DH had to leave (DH was deployed for 2 months). Honestly, I think I was in survival mode that 2nd month home alone, but looking back on it, I really had things under control. Sorry no advice on having an older child, but at least you have had experience with babies before. I was a nanny for twins and have done lots of daycare work with infants so I think that really took a lot of stress off of me. That and visiting TS!

 

It was about when I went back to work, at 10 weeks, when I felt like I was finally getting things under control. My DS turned 2 two months after the twins were born, so I am in a similar situation to yours. However, my babies were pretty fussy and not great sleepers, so that made those first weeks really hard. Luckily, I had help who taught me how to keep them from crying too much, and yet not hold them all the time which made me feel more empowered.

I still have really bad evenings (they seem to be fussier for me than they are for the nanny) sometimes, but I stick to the mantra, "every day they are another day older".

Good luck!