For those of you have left your 3 or so year olds

We're going away in a few days... just me and my husband. :Clap: But I'm not sure what or if we tell the kids anything. I don't want to not say something but I'm guessing (or know?) that if I told them we were going away for a few days they'd cry alot. What have you all done?

To tell or not to tell... that is the question. :laughing:

 

Awaiting replies here! My girls are a little younger than your kiddos, but I've been trying to figure this out too. Luckily for us, they're staying here at the house and Grammy is coming to play and they love Grammy, so I'm going to spin it that way I think. Just not sure when, yet! ardon:

 

Same thing here, Angela. My mom and dad are coming over our house and they absolutely love them :wub: but I think by day two they'll be asking. :lol: I also feel like maybe I'm doing harm by not saying anything? ardon: NO clue... I lost my manual!

 

We haven't left them yet but I was trying to imagine if we did so, what I would want to do and I think I would want to tell them at least the day before and start preparing them for the idea that we would be going bye bye and that we would be back in a couple of days. I would make a big deal about gma and gpa spending the night (or them spending the night there) and make that the focus of the whole thing. Like this is something special for them and a very special thing for gma and gpa because they get to spend some fun time with them. kwim? I don't know, I would be scared to just spring it on them when we were leaving or for them to find out after we left. I know when we left them for the first time to go out on a date night that we told them that we were going bye bye but that we would be here when they woke up in the morning and that Abbie would be there to take care of them if they needed anything. Of course, we were only a phone call away if anything happened.

 

Mel, when they wake up we'll be gone... so I won't be telling them that morning. :unsure: They do fine leaving them with the gparents if we go out, they just need to say :wavey: to us at the door and they are fine but I've not done leaving them for days (okay, I did when they were around 16 months old, but they didn't care much :lol: ) I'm scared if I do tell them they'll start crying in front of me and (selfish here) I don't think I can handle that. :blush: Maybe I'll just send them a postcard. :rofl: That'll work, right?

 

Liz, I would definitely tell them something. You don't want them to be surprised and be expecting you to come home and you don't. When we went away for the weekend last Oct. we told the kids that we were going away to a wedding. Of course they asked if they could come and we just said the wedding was not for kids, only grown ups. We told them that Mimi and GrandDad were coming to our house to stay with them and they were going to have so much fun. We told them how excited my parents were to be spending the weekend with them and my Mom even told the kids that as well. :wub: They were very excited to know that their grandparents would be there. Of course they were sad when we left, but I know they got over it real fast.

But I would definitely tell them you are going away and if they ask, tell them this place is not for kids, just grown ups. But that will take pictures, call them and bring them back a special surprise.

 

Thank you Amy! :hug: I hadn't thought of telling them it's a place where kids aren't allowed. :good: I am going to TRU tonight or tomorrow night to buy them something so we'll have to give to them on Monday. :good:


Now I'm getting nervous about telling them.

 

I know, it's a lot to worry about with leaving them. :hug: BUT they will be fine!! You know your parents will take wonderful care of them. Yes, you will miss them and they will miss you. It is good for you and Dan to get away alone and it's good for the kids to spend some time alone with their Grandparents. I just figured kids understand it if you say "kids aren't allowed", rather than Mommy and Daddy want to get away by ourselves. :lol: I know this is not easy for you to leave them, but you and them will have a great time!! :Clap:

 

How about telling them and if it becomes an issue, maybe you can take them to the store to pick out new stickers or something to play with the grandparents while they are watching them. Also, tell them they can call you on the phone when they wake up, or something like that.

 

I told my kids ahead of time when we went to Vegas. I actually started explaining it to them several days in advance so they could get used to the idea. One other thing I did, which sounds weird but ardon: , is that I have these fuzzy, velour pajamas that I wear in the winter and Luke loves the feel of them. I left them here for him when we left & my mom said he carried them around with him half the time & slept with them every night. Whenever he got upset & was missing me, my mom would just give him the pajama top & he would calm down. Lila, on the other hand, could care less if we are gone, so she was fine.

 

What Amy said.

DH and I have actually never left the kids at the same time. (I've only left them overnight once -- sigh.) But whenever DH goes away, we make sure they know at least a few days ahead of time. They need time to get used to the idea and it helps if they can ask you about it. Be prepared to go over the same questions over and over. And, while it's good to acknowledge that they might feel sad and that you will miss them, I think it makes things easier if you just acknowledge that briefly and then emphasis all the fun they'll have.

 

I waited until the morning of that we were leaving. I knew that if I told Leah that we were leaving a few days ahead of time, she would ask a million questions and get upset, so I delayed the inevitable. ardon:

 

Thank you ladies for all your advice. :hug: I was so leaning toward not telling them a thing and you all may have saved them a few bucks in the future from therapy. :laughing:

:wub: :wub:

 

We had to leave the girls for two weeks when Caleb was born to go get him, and then wait for clearance to come home. It was short notice and we didn't know how long we would be gone, but we did prepare them ahead of time that they were going to stay with Oma and PopPop when the new baby was born to go get him. His birthmom went into labor very quickly, so we pretty much had only a few hours to get them packed and have my parents come get them. We called every day to talk to them, emailed pictures, and my parents tried to keep their routine as normal as possible. They did start getting a little upset towards the end because every day we thought we would get to go home, but we didn't. If I had known it would be two weeks on the outset, it probably would have been a little better. They did pretty good though. So yes, I would definitely prepare them ahead of time. I also tell them a couple days in advance when DH is going to be gone for work.

 

Liz, at the least - the last day they are awake before you leave. So, since they'll get up and you'll be gone. Let them know that you are coming back, you always come back and that you might find a surprise for them while you are gone!! :hug:

 

When Steve and I go away we usually tell the kids the day before that they get to go to (insert grandparents) house. They are usually thrilled and excited and I can't recall a time when they asked a lot of questions or got upset. But I would definitely tell them, just not too far in advance.

Have fun!

 

Like everyone else said, yep, tell them for sure -- but maybe just the day before?

The first two times we left Nadia overnight, she was really young and didn't understand. But then, we flew to my best friend's wedding in Anguilla, and left her with my parents for four days. She was a couple months shy of turning 3, and she had a ball with Ajee & Aba -- but, we had to prep her, as we first flew to Florida to their house.

(She did have a couple of potty accidents during those days, which I think is normal. So, prepare your parents for the possibility of that!)

 

Thank you so much. :hug: :hug: :hug:

How would I ever parent without you ladies. :wub: