Singleton moms having second baby

I am secretly laughing and enjoying this (I know I am probably evil!). But, many of my friends are having their second baby, and they are finally seeing how hard it is multi tasking!! I attend these play groups every week and have for the past year or so, and rarely do other moms pitch in to help me out (not because they aren't friendly or nice, they just don't know how hard it is, and I think they figure that I have it under control). Well, today i hosted the moms group and two ladies came that have a toddler and a newborn, and did they ever struggle! I ended up taking care of my twins, while rocking their crying babies! They both looked at me and asked "how the heck do you do it with two?" and the biggest question was "how the heck did you do this and breastfeed two!!??"- which are questions they have never asked before. I think they just have a whole new appreciation now for twins - its great!

I felt quite good actually because the group went from 10-12, but the two moms with the newborns didn't leave until 1230 because they needed to feed their babies, and just honestly couldn't get everything together and organized to actually leave my house by 12.
I felt like super mom - When one mom went out to start her car (I swear she was gone for like 10minutes, not sure where she parked!!) I was feeding my twins lunch, while rocking a screaming baby and entertaining her toddler. I just feel good that someone finally sees how hard it is to multi-task! Then, I had to help one of them out to their car because they couldn't carry their baby in the carseat and get their toddler to the car at the same time.

I know it might be a little mean, but it just feels good that some of the other moms are finally understanding what life is like with two children.

 

LOL! I feel you!

Most of my friends have been pretty good about understanding, but I have also made it very clear how tough it is. I guess you can't get how tough until you're actually there.

 

I totally understand where you are coming from. I am fortunate that my friends, not that they totally understood, but were always very helpful with the twins and could appreciate that twins were (and still are) a lot of work.

 

Good for you! I can hear your evil laugh from here and ,yes, I´m doing it too! :rotflmbo: I often get those comments from singleton parents. One of my students recently became a father to a little girl. He told his wife that she couldn´t complain as, "Rachel had to do it with two babies" Hahahaha! Even he looks at me now with new-found respect! LOL! It´s so nice to hear too as they seem to have more respect of what life is like with two of the same age!

 

LOL! DH and I feel the same way!!! That's really nice you helped them .

 

You are definitely a great friend! Even with the evil laugh! I completely understand how you feel. My friend's are having their 2nd babies as well and are struggling with it. I have one who calls me alot asking how I do it (insert different situation). It's always a great feeling when other's recognize that you are doing a great job and it is very hard.

 

lol they never understand that we just exist we don't think about how hard it is or we'd go crazy!

 

It DOES feel good to finally be understood in this domain!

 

You're not the only one that feels this way. Every time I hear about a friend who's expecting baby #2, I do a little dance inside my head. And think, that now I have it easier than they do. Mine are at the same stage, eat the same foods, nap at the same time, etc. They all have to deal with kids at different developmental stages, differing naptimes, etc.

 

This is so true. It is easier when they are at basically the same level.

Good for you for helping out!

 

hehe exactly what i was thinking! i think having twins going through everything at the same time during the first couple of years is challenging when they can't voice when they want, but down the road, they'll be going through things together and i've heard in some ways it's easier...unlike moms with children of various ages...
That little devilish giggle bubbles in me too when I think about my singleton friends talking about having their second baby someday...just you wait!

 

:blbl: Ha! Good for you! Im grinning ear to ear just feeling the joy that must have given you!!!!!

 

I can SOO relate. I used to go to a play group when the twins were little, and the staff at the play centre ended up taking a photo of me nursing 1 child and bottle feeding the other to use in the handouts. You are a great friend

 

I have twins and a third and I feel that way all the time. it now takes me longer to do things, and up utnil my daughter turned 1, we always had to stop and bf her, etc. I totally get it. I personally love that I had 3 and that I now experience the sibling issues that are not present iwth twins. It's great to watch 2 different ages try to navigate each other's space, etc.

 

Like the pp I have 18 month twins plus a 2 month old and even with twin toddlers to look after, only having ONE newborn is SOOOoooooo much easier than two newborns. At this stage I can put the baby down and read to the girls or put on the T.V. while I bf the one newborn. Yeah nothing like bf twins/pumping/formula. I do have other moms from my mother's group as well and like you I am loving how they will have to watch over two as well. They have always been helpful with me and my girls but I still secretly can't wait to hear how they will now cope with two. I think it really makes things much more difficult to get out of the house. It is that feeling of being housebound that singleton moms are not as used to.

I had just the baby the other day for the entire day and MAN I have no idea what people complain about with one child. It was so easy to go out to a restaurant, shopping, etc. I found mentally it was easier too. I think the hardest thing is mentally being aware of two children at once --- where they are, what they are touching, if they are getting fussy, etc.

fun times

Heather

 

Hi Heather,

just wait til the baby starts getting into the twins' toys, the fun has not yet started...